Man Gets Five Years Probation for Stealing $460,000 in Quarters

Thomas Rica, a former public works inspector for the city of Ridgewood, NJ, was sentenced to five years probation after he stole $460,000 worth of quarters taken from parking meters. He stole the quarters over the course of two years from a storage room, and pled guilty to four counts of theft as part of a plea deal. » 7/09/14 8:49pm Today 8:49pm

Farrah Abraham's Next Venture: Frozen Yogurt

Farrah Abraham, having conquered publishing, sex tapes, and reality television, has set her sights on the next frontier of entrepreneurism: selling frozen yogurt and other not-hot foods. She's opening Froco Fresh Frozen in Austin this fall. Its mascot, Coba ("the popping boba"), is terrifying: » 7/09/14 7:18pm Today 7:18pm

Willow Smith Is Being Fed Systematic French Fries by the Government

When Willow Smith isn't learning everything she needs to know about life by watching Forrest Gump and/or reading the stories of the universe on snakes' backs, she is tweeting about doing those things. And when the 13-year-old daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith isn't tweeting about those things, she's… » 7/09/14 6:57pm Today 6:57pm

Nathan For You's Sci-Fi Masterpiece and Other Great Shows Within Shows

Last night on Nathan For You, Nathan Fielder narrowly avoided fraud charges for telling customers in a Hollywood souvenir shop they would be extras in a Johnny Depp movie called The Web by actually slapping said movie together. (Sneak peek: ya boy Johnny hacks an asteroid.) » 7/09/14 5:49pm Today 5:49pm

"The Truth of the Matter Is Walmart Is a Horrible Place to Work"

Boxlike megastore Walmart is reaping a good deal of positive PR today after a gaudy event showcasing the company's intentions to spend more money on American-made products. We'd like to take this opportunity to remind you what kind of employer Walmart is. » 7/09/14 5:27pm Today 5:27pm

The NSA Isn't Spying on Enough People

That mysterious wait is over! At zero dark one last night, Glenn Greenwald's media venture The // Intercept posted the long-promised results of their ongoing investigation into which specific U.S. civilians were targeted by the NSA's most invasive surveillance programs. » 7/09/14 4:52pm Today 4:52pm

Randi Zuckerberg Proves Davos Is a Total Joke

Right now, many of the worst people alive are flocking to a tiny, silly Swiss town for a week of swapping platitudes and talking about money. But why would our planet's ultrarich dickheads want to attend Davos, where Mark Zuckerberg's useless sister is considered a "Young Global Leader"? » 7/09/14 4:32pm Today 4:32pm

Being a Costumed Times Square Creeper May Soon Require a License

In an effort to further clean up the shiniest five blocks in New York, a city councilman has proposed a rule that would require background checks for all of Times Square's costumed characters. Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Spider-Man are a notoriously smelly, quarellsome bunch, after all. » 7/09/14 4:30pm Today 4:30pm

This Week in Tabloids: Kate Middleton Is Pregnant and Anorexic

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which in which we peer through the looking glass into the pages of Star, Us Weekly, OK!, Life & Style and InTouch. This week: an "expert" who has never seen Kate Middleton in person diagnoses her with an eating disorder; Brad and Angie almost ran into Jennifer Aniston at a… » 7/09/14 4:25pm Today 4:25pm

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In their most common form, government-sanctioned redactions obscure text: names and code names, dates of birth and Social Security numbers, the classified and top-secret—each a tiny black site housing a discrete, unknowable entity. For all of their apparent precision, each redaction expresses a set of underlying… » 7/09/14 4:17pm Today 4:17pm