NYC Settles for $750,000 Over Mistreatment of Inmate's Six-Day Erection

A New York man who says he was rendered impotent after jailers refused to treat his six-day, prescription drug-induced erection settled with the city for $750,000 on Monday, DNAinfo reports. » 7/07/15 11:05pm Yesterday 11:05pm

Chrissy Teigen Enters Ass Photo Arms Race With John Legend Butt Pic

Yesterday, famed butt-haver Justin Bieber posted his Great White Ass on Instagram and today, noted nipple-freer Chrissy Teigen responded with a game theory-approved tit-for-tat strategy, uploading a picture of husband John Legend’s backside. » 7/07/15 8:30pm Yesterday 8:30pm

Andrew Cuomo Twists the Knife He Inserted Into Bill de Blasio's Agenda

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has consistently and petulantly undermined New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio since the mayor took office, but the feud only recently went on the record. Following an Albany legislative session in which Cuomo blatantly denied de Blasio various legislative victories — and cynically… » 7/07/15 6:30pm Yesterday 6:30pm

Save a Comrade's Life With Russia's Official Guide to Selfie Safety

Apparently, the people of Russia are so dedicated to selfies and/or eager to welcome death that their “high-risk” selfie poses have caused injuries to hundreds and killed dozens more. Naturally, the Russian government was forced to appeal to the nations’s youth in the only way that made sense: dry, informational… » 7/07/15 6:28pm Yesterday 6:28pm

Two Deer Chill Out in Man's House for a Year, Bail When Police Show Up

Although deer have slipped out of the public eye since their peak back in 2013, there are still young bucks out there making big moves. Like moving into a guy’s house for a year, covering it in piss and shit, and then running off into the woods like everything’s cool as soon as the cops show up. » 7/07/15 6:18pm Yesterday 6:18pm

Tyga Sent a Photo of His Dick To Someone Who Isn't Kylie Jenner

Bad news for Kylie Jenner: not only are you dating Tyga, a widely mocked rapper who had to release his recent album for free because nobody wanted to hear it, but your widely mocked rapper boyfriend is sending dick pics to people who are not you—including a transgender actress named Mia Isabella, who has gone ahead… » 7/07/15 5:26pm Yesterday 5:26pm

Subway Suspends Relationship With Jared Fogle Following Child-Porn Raid

Hours after his home was raided by the FBI as part of a child pornography investigation, Subway and Jared Fogle “have mutually agreed to suspend their relationships,” according to a statement from the sandwich chain. » 7/07/15 5:15pm Yesterday 5:15pm

Subway Won't Say if Jared Can Still Use His Sandwich "Black Card"

American fast-food brand Subway is already making a great show of distancing itself from its mascot of 17 years, Jared Fogle, after Fogle’s home was raided in a child porn investigation. But is the sandwich chain hitting Fogle where it counts? Is Jared Fogle still using his sandwiches-for-life “Subway black card”? » 7/07/15 5:00pm Yesterday 5:00pm

Naked Woman Wanders Into Wawa, Foolishly Leaves Empty-Handed

To cap an exciting holiday weekend, one where we celebrated both our nation’s independence and our women’s soccer team’s World Cup win, some chose to prove they turned up in bigger ways than others. Going to work wildly hungover is one way to do that, while entering a Wawa nude at 6 a.m. on Monday morning is another. » 7/07/15 4:50pm Yesterday 4:50pm

What Do Women Want? To Have Sex with Their Stepbrothers

Nestled inside the top sellers list on Amazon, between the James Patterson pot-boilers, the ubiquitous de-cluttering manifesto, and various forgettable beach reads, is the answer to what women really want: in short, to fuck their stepbrothers. For months now, self-published stepsibling romance novels have become a… » 7/07/15 4:40pm Yesterday 4:40pm

Subway Scrambles to Remove Jared From Website Following Child-Porn Raid

Following an FBI raid on Jared “Subway Jared” Fogle’s Indiana home Tuesday, Subway appears to be subtly cutting ties with its human mascot. TMZ reports that Subway has removed pages dedicated to “Jared’s Journey” of weight loss, and to Fogle’s childhood obesity charity, from its website. » 7/07/15 4:30pm Yesterday 4:30pm

Lawyer: Killer Escapee Gave Tillie Pills to "Incapacitate" Her Husband

According to CNN, the big-dicked killer escapee Richard Matt gave his lover and supervisor Joyce “Tillie” Mitchell more than just companionship and a beautiful painting: he also gave her pills to “incapacitate” her husband, who the pair were planning on murdering. » 7/07/15 4:10pm Yesterday 4:10pm