Demon Popstar Ariana Grande Contaminates Donuts With Her Hellish Tongue

Ariana Grande, a mewling kitten wearing sexy bloomers, claimed in 2013 that she was attacked by demons from hell. This weekend, however, she revealed herself to be the true demon from hell by sneakily licking donuts at a donut shop and then not buying them. Also: she “hates America.” Also: she’s dating a backup dancer. » 7/07/15 12:22pm Just now

Man Named Bear Kills Gator That Ate His Dumb Friend: "He Had to Go"

After he was warned not to go into the bayou with a large alligator this weekend, a 28-year-old Texas man did just that, declaring “Fuck that alligator!” and jumping to his demise. Now a friend of the victim, a man known only as Bear, has made the alligator pay with its life for his buddy’s mistake. » 7/07/15 12:05pm 18 minutes ago

Idiotic and Insulting Idea Originates, Surprisingly, in New Jersey

America’s student loan crisis is heavy weight that hangs over the heads of millions of people young and old, often preventing them from living the life they once dreamed of. One New Jersey legislator has a patronizing and useless pseudo-solution to this problem. » 7/07/15 11:20am Today 11:20am

BuzzFeed’s Support of Women’s Rights Does Not Include Abortion

In late January, BuzzFeed published a lengthy standards and ethics manual, with which the site intended to hold itself accountable for various missteps (such as surreptitiously deleting articles). Unlike most other news outlets that bother with ethics manuals, however, BuzzFeed decided to specify its stance toward a… » 7/07/15 11:13am Today 11:13am

Jill Scott Finally Admits She Was Wrong About Bill Cosby

Looks like Bill Cosby’s admission that he purchased Quaaludes to “use” on women was enough to convince even his staunchest defender that Hey, this guy might be guilty. » 7/07/15 11:01am Today 11:01am

Trump's DC Hotel Is Being Built by Undocumented Immigrants He Despises

According to Donald Trump, idiot billionaire and face of YouTube’s popular Annoying Orange, Mexican immigrants who come to the U.S. illegally “have lots of problems” and they’re “bringing those problems to us.” He has publicly claimed that the only things undocumented immigrants have to offer the U.S. are drugs and… » 7/07/15 10:38am Today 10:38am

Subway Jared Allegedly Ran Porn Lending Library Out of His College Dorm

Many of us suffered a devastating blow this morning when we learned that beloved sandwich savant and Subway black card holder Jared Fogle is being investigated for child porn. Apparently, however, this news shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise: Back in college, Jared’s original claim to fame was loaning his… » 7/07/15 9:52am Today 9:52am

Here Are All the Theories About the Ben Affleck and Jen Garner Divorce

After 10 years and one day of marriage, actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced last week that they’ve decided to divorce. We knew this was coming, but still, we ask: why? What happened in between falling in love on the set of Daredevil (2004) and moving out of a shared bedroom in their Los Angeles home and… » 7/07/15 9:31am Today 9:31am

The Worst Excerpts from the Newly Unsealed Cosby Files

On Monday, Deadspin’s Diana Moskovitz obtained a disturbing collection of documents from a 2005 civil suit against Bill Cosby by former Temple University employee Andrea Constand, who accused the comedian of drugging and raping her. While the suit was settled out of court in 2006, the case’s records remained sealed… » 7/06/15 9:22pm Yesterday 9:22pm