Rihanna Celebrates Her World Cup Victory With Random German Men

After defeating Argentina 1-0 in a dramatic World Cup finale, pop star Rihanna celebrated her championship with a slew of unrecognizable German men. I have no idea who any of these people are but they look very happy for Rihanna, who took home her first ever World Cup with a sparkling goal in the 113th minute. » 7/14/14 11:20am 58 minutes ago

Activist Malala to Meet With Nigerian President About Missing Girls

Pakistani education activist Malala Yousafzai is in Nigeria this week to celebrate her 17th birthday with a very specific wish: to bring back the over 200 missing girls who were taken from their school by Boko Haram militants in April. » 7/14/14 11:12am Today 11:12am

Indicted Felons and Some Fucked-Up Pets on Real Housewives of NJ

Amidst the tragedy of Teresa and Juicy Giudice's federal indictments, and Gia Giudice crying continuously, and Melissa Gorga searching for a storyline, and these new cast members with their horrible Househusbands, can we all say a prayer of thanks for the perfection known as Dina Manzo and her armless Chihuahua? » 7/14/14 11:07am Today 11:07am

Rikers Island Is a Brutal Hellhole for Mentally Ill Inmates

A new report from the New York Times elaborates on what became painfully evident after two recent deaths on Rikers Island: New York's most notorious prison is a violent, terrifying place, especially for people with mental illnesses. » 7/14/14 10:55am Today 10:55am

Bowe Bergdahl Could Return to Active Duty Today

Defense officials said late Sunday that former Taliban POW Bowe Berdahl will return to active duty as early as today. According to a report from The New York Times, Berdahl will live in the barracks and take a job at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, where he's been in therapy the past few weeks. » 7/14/14 10:13am Today 10:13am

John Oliver Reads "Smutty Fuck Notes" About Warren G. Harding's Penis

If all you know about President Warren G. Harding is how quickly he died after taking office, prepare for some presidential trivia you'll never be able to unhear. Harding's love letters—or, as John Oliver puts it, "smutty fuck notes"—to his neighbor's wife are a treasure trove of pillowing breasts, fevered fondling,… » 7/14/14 9:40am Today 9:40am

Obama Fist Bumps Texas BBQ Cashier in Response to Gay Sex Joke

At yet another public appearance on his tour of Colorado and Texas, President Obama fist bumped a BBQ cashier in response to the cashier's quip about gay rights. "It was just a lucky day to be the register girl," cashier Rugg Webb told The Austin Chronicle later. » 7/14/14 9:32am Today 9:32am

World's Most Brutal Tweenage Metal Band Gets $1.8 Million Record Deal

Every once in a while, the internet gets it shit together and actually does something worthwhile for the world. This week presents one such an occasion, with the news that the brutal pre-teen metal band Unlocking the Truth landed a $1.8 million record deal from Sony. » 7/14/14 8:26am Today 8:26am

Shipwrecked Costa Concordia Refloated Off Italian Coast

The cruise ship Costa Concordia, which wrecked in 2012 killing 32 people, is floating again off the coast of Italy's Giglio Island. Thanks to a salvage operation that's cost more than 1 billion euro so far, the ship is now floating three feet above the undersea platform it had been resting on for the past year. » 7/14/14 8:10am Today 8:10am