Will a Driver Beating a Passenger With a Hammer Force Uber to Grow Up?

San Francisco's District Attorney has already charged the UberX driver who allegedly used a hammer to beat passenger with two felony counts for assault and battery. But the victim, Robert Chicas, will have a harder time suing Uber directly for an attack that left him hospitalized for three days with a fractured skull,… » 10/01/14 2:13pm 8 minutes ago

New GOP Video Is So Dumb the Words Don't Even Make Sense

Voting is tricky—how are you supposed to know who to vote for? The College Republican National Committee is tapping into this anxiety with an insulting new "parody" campaign ad that imagines the different candidates as dresses (?) for women to wear. » 10/01/14 2:06pm 16 minutes ago

The Weather Channel's Winter Storm Names Are a Cheap Advertising Ploy

No credible agency in the United States names winter storms. That being said, The Weather Channel sent out a press release this morning announcing this year's list of winter storm names. The project continues the network's incredibly clever viewer-run advertising campaign. » 10/01/14 1:46pm 35 minutes ago

Your Boyfriend's Guide to Gilmore Girls

Every season of Gilmore Girls was released on Netflix today and it's so nice that your boyfriend has agreed to watch all seven of them with you, from start to finish. (I know—he's going to love it!) Before you guys start binging, feel free to pass him this guide. I know he hates reading, unlike Jess, ugh, god, why… » 10/01/14 1:34pm 47 minutes ago

Even Jennifer Lawrence Can't Keep Gwyneth and Chris Martin Apart

This weekend, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin hosted a birthday party for human Pilates machine Gwyneth Paltrow, his estranged wife. Last week, Gwyn had a "friendly lunch" with Chris's new girlfriend, Jennifer Lawrence. When will these people be normal and leave each other the fuck alone? » 10/01/14 1:13pm Today 1:13pm

America's Ugliest Accent: Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Memphis, Philly

It's that time again: voting in round one of America's Ugliest Accent Tournament is about to begin. We can now give you the results of our prior days' matchups, which may serve to inform where your loyalties lie in today's rounds of voting. Nevertheless, please remember that city pride is important when it comes to… » 10/01/14 1:05pm Today 1:05pm

Boston Cartoonist on Obama Joke: I'm Not Racist; I Just Like Watermelon

Today, the Boston Herald newspaper published a cartoon that depicts a man showering in Barack Obama's bathroom. It's a commentary about the Secret Service's recent history of putting Barack Obama and his family in harm's way. It also contains a completely unnecessary and racist joke about watermelons. » 10/01/14 12:35pm Today 12:35pm

John Oliver Patiently Schools David Letterman on English Football

John Oliver, who had to resort to comedy after he realized he would never be a professional soccer player, is still completely obsessed with English football, and happy to spend an entire interview explaining the game's various leagues—premier, peasant, Downton Abbeyto a confused David Letterman. » 10/01/14 11:30am Today 11:30am

Are Bugs Like Shellshock and Heartbleed Really Serious, or Just Hype?

Dear Lifehacker,
So Shellshock is the newest vulnerability that may "break the internet." The last time they said that, it was about Heartbleed. Do I really need to be worried about all these bugs and vulnerabilities, or is this stuff tech companies need to care about? Can someone actually use these against me? » 10/01/14 11:23am Today 11:23am

Facebook Apologizes For Discriminatory "Real Name" Policy

Facebook sparked a fierce backlash three weeks ago when it began enforcing a "real name" policy against performers and members of the LGBT community. The company initially dug in its heels, refusing to stop requiring people to use their legal names, inciting hundreds of thousands of people to flee to the… » 10/01/14 11:14am Today 11:14am

Cool Girl Amanda Bynes Reportedly Paid a Fashion Nerd to Do Her Homework

Former teen star Amanda Bynes, known for bong-throwing and asking Drake to commit capital offenses against her vagina, briefly seemed like she had it together—she was taking her medication, attending fashion school, and staying out of the headlines. But Bynes unfortunately reentered the public eye this week when she… » 10/01/14 10:47am Today 10:47am

Bill O'Reilly Is So Mad That Stephen Colbert Mocked His Dumb ISIS Plan

Bill O'Reilly is extremely unhappy that Stephen Colbert crapped all over his terrible plan to defeat ISIS with "an anti-terror mercenary force paid for by coalition nations." The conservative host responded to the conservative host parody on Monday in a segment he called "How to Deal With Dumb People." » 10/01/14 9:50am Today 9:50am

America's Ugliest Accent: Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Memphis, Philly

It's that time again: voting in round one of America's Ugliest Accent Tournament is about to begin. We can now give you the results of our prior days' matchups, which may serve to inform where your loyalties lie in today's rounds of voting. Nevertheless, please remember that city pride is important when it comes to… » 10/01/14 1:05pm Today 1:05pm