3,000 Upstaters Want to Commit Economic Suicide by Seceding From New York

That attractive graphic up there represents a plan put forth by a group of liberty lovers who’d like to see New York state split into two “autonomous regions”: New York, below, composed of the city plus Long Island and Westchester and Rockland Counties, and New Amsterdam, above, composed of everything else. If that… » 8/28/15 6:10pm Today 6:10pm

British Music Festival Locks DJ in Cage After Mistaking Him For Rogue Fan

Evian Christ is a British producer and DJ who is perhaps most well-known for co-producing a song on Kanye West’s Yeezus. Today, he played a set at Leeds Festival in England, which is roughly equivalent to something like Lollapalooza. It probably would have been a great all-around day for Evian Christ had festival… » 8/28/15 5:50pm Today 5:50pm

Police Officers Leave Reporter Accidental Voicemail About Her 'Fucking Giant' Tits

A reporter in Colorado was treated to a delightful voicemail this week from a sheriff’s deputy, who has thoughts on her breasts, face, body, and accent. The one thing he lacks — the only thing, really — is a basic understanding about how to hang up his phone so he doesn’t leave accidental messages. And now here we all… » 8/28/15 4:35pm Today 4:35pm

Tropical Storm Erika Prompts State of Emergency in Florida: Here's What You Need to Know

Governor Rick Scott declared a state of emergency in Florida this morning in anticipation of Tropical Storm Erika’s arrival this weekend and early next week. The storm’s disorganized nature and erratic motion is making it a nightmare to forecast. Here’s what you need to know about Erika as it draws closer to the U.S. » 8/28/15 4:20pm Today 4:20pm

Report: No-Longer-Disgraced Rebekah Brooks Will Return to News Corp As UK CEO

In 2011, Rebekah Brooks resigned as CEO of the United Kingdom division of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp, amid the fallout from the company’s phone-hacking scandal. Today, London’s Financial Times reports that Brooks will return to that position.http://gawker.com/britain-s-phon... » 8/28/15 4:00pm Today 4:00pm

I Love These Goddamn Stock Video Baboons and So Will You

A solid meme for a Friday afternoon: Stock footage of baboons doing human things, paired with silly one-liner captions. They talk on the phone, they throw their computers, they gaze dewy-eyed into the distance and softly smack their lips in resignation. I love these goddamn baboons, and I can’t wait to share them with… » 8/28/15 3:37pm Today 3:37pm

Here's the Philosophy Essay Vox Found Too Upsetting to Publish

Vox.com recently commissioned an essay from Torbjörn Tännsjö, a professor of practical philosophy at Stockholm University, on the “the repugnant conclusion,” a belief that asserts our moral duty to increase the population size because, according to the argument, more humans means more happiness. » 8/28/15 2:46pm Today 2:46pm

Prep School Rape Trial: Owen Labrie Acquitted of Felony Rape, Guilty of Misdemeanors

A jury Friday acquitted 19-year-old Owen Labrie, a graduate of elite St. Paul’s prep school in New Hampshire, of felony sexual assault charges, but found him guilty of misdemeanor sex assault. Labrie had been accused of raping a 15-year-old fellow student in the school’s machine room last May. The AP reports the jury… » 8/28/15 2:04pm Today 2:04pm

What to Do When You Find Out a Coworker Makes More Than You Do

Aaargh. You just found out that your coworker makes more than you do, even though you both do the same kind of work, you’ve been there longer, and you do a better job. You feel demoralized, insulted by your not-such-a-great friend employer, and resentful of your coworker. Before you protest, here’s how to handle the… » 8/28/15 1:48pm Today 1:48pm

Ohio Cop Pulls Black Man Over for "Making Direct Eye Contact" 

Former Ohio resident John Felton was pulled over by Dayton police in front of his mom’s house after he allegedly activated his turn signal less than 100 feet before making a right turn. Unable to believe an officer would stop him on such a piddling technicality, Felton asked the officer why he was really followed for… » 8/28/15 1:28pm Today 1:28pm

All I Need to Know About Pregnancy I Learned From Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is currently pregnant with her second child. This is great for Kim and Kanye West and also me personally, because Kim likes to share. While more guarded celebrities have gone to great lengths to conceal the havoc pregnancy wreaks on their otherwise flawless bodies, Kim is real—and a real wellspring of… » 8/28/15 12:19pm Today 12:19pm