Politico: Obama’s Assassination Would Help Reform the Secret Service

Politico Magazine, a glossy version of Politico, seeks to deliver “really big takes on big subjects holding leaders in Washington and beyond accountable.” Their latest really big take: President Obama’s assassination might be the only way to reform the incompetent U.S. Secret Service. » 10/01/14 5:51pm 2 minutes ago

Apple Blacklisted Europe's Biggest Computer Mag for Bending an iPhone

The latest consumer panic around the bend-ability of new iPhones is largely overblown. Most thin metal things bend. But according to the editors of Computer Bild, a hugely popular tech magazine based in Germany, Apple is banning them for even showing a bending phone. » 10/01/14 5:22pm 31 minutes ago

Selfie Is Secretly the Best Sitcom Pilot This Season

The much-discussed sitcom Selfie premiered last night on ABC, to a strangely high-emotion/low-content response. Gen X reviewers are befuddled, Gen Y is wary; tech and PR people are annoyed (although not all of them!) and misogynists feel validated. I would argue this means the show is doing exactly what it's set out… » 10/01/14 5:15pm 38 minutes ago

Michael Dunn Convicted of First-Degree Murder for Killing Jordan Davis

Jurors in Jacksonville, Florida found Michael Dunn guilty of first degree murder Wednesday afternoon for the shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. In November 2012, Dunn opened fire at an SUV Davis and three other unarmed teenagers were sitting in after becoming enraged at the loud "thug music" coming from the… » 10/01/14 5:07pm 46 minutes ago

Charlize Theron: Different Cycling Studio, Same Rude Cycling 'Tude

Though the sun has set on summer 2014's most explosive feud—Tia Mowry Vs. Charlize Theron, Re: Being Rude at SoulCycle—the Autumn breeze has blown in a warm little update: Charlize is allegedly still cycling, and allegedly still being super rude about it. » 10/01/14 3:24pm Today 3:24pm

Tracy Morgan's Career May Be Over, Says Tracy Morgan's Lawyer

Yesterday, Tracy Morgan made one of his first public statements since a Walmart truck hit his limo bus in June, leaving him with serious physical and neurological injuries. "I'm fighting hard every day to get back," he said. But after that hopeful sentiment, Morgan's lawyer has jumped in to make sure we don't set our… » 10/01/14 2:59pm Today 2:59pm

Now There's Surge Pricing For Food

Surge pricing is Silicon Valley's most insidious trend. Popularized by Uber—a company synonymous with fucking people over—surge pricing allows companies to jack up prices whenever demand is running a little high, reaping profits for startups while customers on a budget are left behind. And now techies have brought the… » 10/01/14 2:27pm Today 2:27pm

Will a Driver Beating a Passenger With a Hammer Force Uber to Grow Up?

San Francisco's District Attorney has already charged the UberX driver who allegedly used a hammer to beat passenger with two felony counts for assault and battery. But the victim, Robert Chicas, will have a harder time suing Uber directly for an attack that left him hospitalized for three days with a fractured skull,… » 10/01/14 2:13pm Today 2:13pm

New GOP Video Is So Dumb the Words Don't Even Make Sense

Voting is tricky—how are you supposed to know who to vote for? The College Republican National Committee is tapping into this anxiety with an insulting new "parody" campaign ad that imagines the different candidates as dresses (?) for women to wear. » 10/01/14 2:06pm Today 2:06pm

The Weather Channel's Winter Storm Names Are a Cheap Advertising Ploy

No credible agency in the United States names winter storms. That being said, The Weather Channel sent out a press release this morning announcing this year's list of winter storm names. The project continues the network's incredibly clever viewer-run advertising campaign. » 10/01/14 1:46pm Today 1:46pm

Your Boyfriend's Guide to Gilmore Girls

Every season of Gilmore Girls was released on Netflix today and it's so nice that your boyfriend has agreed to watch all seven of them with you, from start to finish. (I know—he's going to love it!) Before you guys start binging, feel free to pass him this guide. I know he hates reading, unlike Jess, ugh, god, why… » 10/01/14 1:34pm Today 1:34pm

Even Jennifer Lawrence Can't Keep Gwyneth and Chris Martin Apart

This weekend, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin hosted a birthday party for human Pilates machine Gwyneth Paltrow, his estranged wife. Last week, Gwyn had a "friendly lunch" with Chris's new girlfriend, Jennifer Lawrence. When will these people be normal and leave each other the fuck alone? » 10/01/14 1:13pm Today 1:13pm

America's Ugliest Accent: Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Memphis, Philly

It's that time again: voting in round one of America's Ugliest Accent Tournament is about to begin. We can now give you the results of our prior days' matchups, which may serve to inform where your loyalties lie in today's rounds of voting. Nevertheless, please remember that city pride is important when it comes to… » 10/01/14 1:05pm Today 1:05pm

Boston Cartoonist on Obama Joke: I'm Not Racist; I Just Like Watermelon

Today, the Boston Herald newspaper published a cartoon that depicts a man showering in Barack Obama's bathroom. It's a commentary about the Secret Service's recent history of putting Barack Obama and his family in harm's way. It also contains a completely unnecessary and racist joke about watermelons. » 10/01/14 12:35pm Today 12:35pm

OutKast, Contextually

The four rail lines that comprise the Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority (MARTA) meet at Five Points Station. The station, which was opened in 1979 and later added North-South lines in 1981, is located in the middle of downtown and serves as a transportation hub for the metro area's five million residents.… » 10/01/14 12:45pm Today 12:45pm