Wednesday Night TV Remembers Buying Its First Lincoln, Too

By the end of this story you'll have learned some things about Tom Bergeron, teenage witches, spanking, carny lore, Lisa Kudrow and what makes a Halloween so hallowed. But let us not start at the middle, let's go back to the beginning: 8/7 central, tonight on the TV. With The Middle. » 10/22/14 6:04pm Today 6:04pm

Which "Tech Couple" Is Spending Millions on a San Francisco Bunker?

Mark Zuckerberg has already won the race to become San Francisco's most obnoxious techie homeowner. But a report says another Noe Valley manse owned by a "tech couple" could surpass Fort Zuckerberg as the most expensive property in the neighborhood. » 10/22/14 5:53pm Today 5:53pm

This Week in Tabloids: Kardashian Pets Are Mysteriously Disappearing

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which an overexcited fairy flaps her wings over all of America and gently drops a tiny poop on each of your heads. This week, all the tabloids are Platonic ideals of garbage, and together we unravel the mystery of the disappearing Kardashian pets, the cup size of Ariana Grande's Future… » 10/22/14 5:46pm Today 5:46pm

Alderman to Muslim Resident: You Probably Support Terrorism, Right?

When Heba Mohammad, a recent graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, emailed Alderman Chris Wery to ask if transportation would be provided for midterm elections in two weeks, Wery immediately called her religious and political affiliations into question—assuming she might have ties to Islamic extremist… » 10/22/14 5:10pm Today 5:10pm

How We Got Rolled by the Dishonest Fascists of Gamergate

On October 1, the computing giant Intel pulled its ads from Gamasutra, a trade website for game developers, over an essay called "'Gamers' don't have to be your audience. 'Gamers' are over" by a journalist named Leigh Alexander. Intel had been successfully harassed by a small, contemptible crusade called "Gamergate"—a… » 10/22/14 5:00pm Today 5:00pm

"I'll Fuck You Up, Bitch": Drunk Frat Bros Brawl at UofA Tailgate

The above video shows drunk frat bros fighting, rolling around on the ground, and calling each other bitches at a University of Arkansas tailgate. According to Bro Bible, the fight is between Sigma Nus and SAEs, but according to me, it's between a bunch of IDIOTS who aren't even throwing real punches. » 10/22/14 4:00pm Today 4:00pm

Sean Parker's Wedding Was So Horrible He Has to Make an Apology App

What feels like several dozen years ago, Silicon Valley's reformed party boy and his Middle Earth bride celebrated their love (and love of nature) by shitting up part of a protected redwood forest. Now the state is making him build them an "I'm Sorry" app. » 10/22/14 3:37pm Today 3:37pm

If You Don't Get That Buzzfeed San Francisco Editor Job, Try Ratter

Yesterday, Ben Smith, editor of Buzzfeed News, Twittered that he'll be in San Francisco this week interviewing candidates for a new Bureau Chief position. The very lengthy and aspirational job listing can be found here. Buzzfeed is an excellent company and I'm sure they'll make an extraordinary hire. » 10/22/14 3:25pm Today 3:25pm

Clowns "Violently Poke" Family at Haunted House With Purple Vibrator

In a lawsuit filed by Regina Janito, the mother alleges two men dressed as clowns terrorized her and her family during a visit to the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, Ill. She accuses one of the clowns of "violently" poking her daughter with a purple vibrator while the other simulated oral sex on a teddy bear… » 10/22/14 3:11pm Today 3:11pm

How Piracy Benefits Companies, Even If They Don't Admit it

We've talked a lot about the legality of piracy a lot here at Lifehacker, but really, you're probably breaking the law everyday anyway. However, piracy can sometimes have its benefits. Even to the companies who own the copyrights. » 10/22/14 2:43pm Today 2:43pm

These Are the Creepy 4Chan Successors Behind Gamergate's Pathetic War

Both the amorphous anti-feminist movement Gamergate and last month's extended leak of a huge cache of private celebrity nude photographs—the two biggest internet-based stories in recent memory—have served as coming-out parties for a small set of anonymous, uncensored image boards that function like 4chan's raggedy… » 10/22/14 9:55am Today 9:55am