Sometimes Your Own Worst Enemy Is Yourself

Once upon a time a man started hitting his head against a wall. A passerby asked him, "Why are you hitting your head against that wall?" "Because it feels so... Well, I guess because I don't have a weirdly strong mirror like that goat." » 3/30/15 11:12pm 24 minutes ago

GOP Mayor of Indianapolis Issues Executive Order Defending Gay Rights

In response to Indiana's new, widely criticized "religious freedom" law that may permit discrimination against gays and lesbians, the Republican mayor of the state's largest city signed an executive order reaffirming that businesses receiving city funds could not refuse LGBT customers. » 3/30/15 10:30pm Today 10:30pm

Abandon Hope: Coyotes Now Squatting In New York City's Vacant Buildings

New York is a concrete city populated by humans—for now. But is that a tire screech you hear, or a pack of coyotes howling at the moon, living in your old apartment, lying in wait? New, disturbing evidence out of Queens suggests we're running on borrowed time. » 3/30/15 9:32pm Today 9:32pm

Playboy Mansion Allegedly Built Secret Tunnels for Celebrity Neighbors

Woman Arrested for Killing a Toddler in a Fast Food Restaurant Bathroom

NYPD officers responding to a fast food restaurant in midtown Manhattan today reportedly discovered a gruesome crime scene: a woman smothering a toddler to death. » 3/30/15 6:40pm Today 6:40pm

Cops: Woman Stabbed Boyfriend Because He Ate All of Their Salsa

The snack-provoked crime wave continues in America: One week after a father allegedly shot his son in the butt over an empty orange juice container, a woman in Akron, Ohio, allegedly stabbed her boyfriend in the stomach because he ate all of their salsa. » 3/30/15 6:33pm Today 6:33pm

The World's Most Famous Musicians Just Hosted a Bonkers Press Conference

Only a few minutes ago, the entire music industry stood on a stage in a collective display of how rich and out of touch they are. They think you are willing to pay up to double the price of other streaming music services to pay for their streaming music service, because they are crazy. » 3/30/15 6:15pm Today 6:15pm

500 Days of Kristin, Day 64: Let's Go Back, Back to the Beginning

Before Kristin Cavallari embarked on the ambitious journey of drafting her debut memoir Balancing on Heels—coming to an near you in 436 days—she was busy popularizing catchphrases like "butt-hurt" and "Stee-pheeennnnn" on MTV's Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. » 3/30/15 5:54pm Today 5:54pm

Famed Casting Director Allison Jones Once Sent Me a Very Funny Email

Today, the New Yorker has an excellent profile of Hollywood casting director Allison Jones, the woman who discovered Jonah Hill and "McLovin," among others. In the article, it becomes clear that Jones, while an extremely funny person, doesn't write as often as her talent should dictate, or as her collaborators might… » 3/30/15 5:35pm Today 5:35pm

Deadspin Shayanna Jenkins: I Have No Idea What Was In The Mystery Box I Threw Out | io9 What Would Being In A Bunker For 15 Years Really Do To Your Head? | Jezebel Hotel Worker Earning Minimum Wage Fired for Talking to Washington Post | Lifehacker How to Develop a Jack of All Trades Mindset and Never Be Bored Again | … » 3/30/15 5:21pm Today 5:21pm

Naked German Violinist Arrested for Allegedly Choking Woman at NYC Hotel

A German violinist on tour in the U.S. was arrested after he reportedly got naked at a Manhattan hotel and tried to strangle another guest, a 64-year-old woman, in her room. » 3/30/15 5:30pm Today 5:30pm

Please Stop Telling Kit Harington He's a Hunk—He Hates It!

Does anyone have it harder than Kit Harington? You may think yes, but—god love you—that's just because you're stupid. God, you're so stupid you make me sick. » 3/30/15 4:55pm Today 4:55pm

LBJ Was Obsessed With His Dick

One imagines that the mind of the president is constantly occupied by the fate of the free world. This probably explains, for instance, why George W. Bush could barely read. Lyndon B. Johnson, though, was not your average president, for various reasons, but quite prominently that he was very concerned about the state… » 3/30/15 4:25pm Today 4:25pm

Jackass President Damn Near Busts His Ass

Commander-in-"Whoops!" Barack Obama nearly tumbled down a whole god damn set of airplane stairs today after seemingly failing to master a skill that even toddlers have grasped—putting one foot in front of the other. » 3/30/15 3:16pm Today 3:16pm

Don't forget: You can email us tips at, call them in at 646-470-4295, send them directly to any of our writers, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system. And like us on Facebook here! » 3/30/15 3:01pm Today 3:01pm

What Would Being In A Bunker For 15 Years Really Do To Your Head?

So a woman emerges from a bunker after 15 years. She's cheerful and ready to embrace life. It's the premise of the recent Netflix series The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, but what is the reality? What do years of isolation and confinement actually do to a person's brain? » 3/30/15 11:20am Today 11:20am