The Non Sports Fan's Guide to the FIFA Scandal or Whatever the Fuck

You may have just seen this headline, or a related one: “Sepp Blatter Re-elected as FIFA Boss Despite Charges” What does it mean? Which of those words are nouns, which are verbs, and which refer to human beings? Allow me to guide you, non sports fan. » 5/29/15 3:05pm 29 minutes ago

Forward or Delete: This Week's Fake Viral Photos

Occasionally, against all odds, you’ll see an interesting or even enjoyable picture on the Internet. But is it worth sharing, or just another Photoshop job that belongs in the digital trash heap? Check in here and find out if that viral photo deserves an enthusiastic “forward” or a pitiless “delete.”
» 5/29/15 2:45pm 49 minutes ago

500 Days of Kristin, Day 124: Pretty Boring

Yesterday I woke up confused, like I’d been bludgeoned with a turquoise bangle in my sleep. It turns out that I was just remembering a blog post on People’s website titled, “9 Reasons Kristin Cavallari Is Even More Stylish Than We Thought.” Is she? Even more stylish than we thought? Please hand me two baby aspirin and… » 5/29/15 2:31pm Today 2:31pm

Jeremy Renner Wedding Hell: When Will The Truth Come Out?

We brought you a story earlier this week, via TMZ, about actor Jeremy Renner crashing a wedding in Houston, Texas and hitting up the open bar. His publicist, Susan Patricola, reached out to us shortly after. She was unhappy! » 5/29/15 2:16pm Today 2:16pm

School Throws Away 10-Year-Old's Hot Lunch Because Her Account Was Empty

On May 20, a Kentucky grade schooler was eating lunch with her friends in the cafeteria when a school employee took away her hot lunch and dumped it in the trash in front of her. The teacher gave her a cheese sandwich to eat instead. Although the student didn’t know it, her lunch account had had a negative balance. » 5/29/15 2:05pm Today 2:05pm

The Duggars' Creepy Homeschool Curriculum's Guide to Fashion

There’s a lot more to ATI—the insane fundamentalist homeschool program used by the Duggars and thousands of others—than just bad science. In addition to revelations about cancer-causing semen, you’ll also be getting a whole section of fashion tips. Because if there’s anything god hates (more than lust and sex and… » 5/29/15 1:55pm Today 1:55pm

All Hail Sepp Blatter, FIFA Emperor-For-Life

As expected, courageous leader, tenacious progressive, and upstanding citizen Sepp Blatter has won re-election as president of FIFA. His impeccable credentials gave him the overwhelming victory over Guy Who Is Not Sepp Blatter, with the first vote ending up 133-73 before Blatter’s opponent generously conceded to the… » 5/29/15 1:45pm Today 1:45pm

Jim Bob's Punishment for Masturbators: Crazy Duggar Tales We've Heard

Last week, conservative political activist and reality star Josh Duggar admitted that, as a teenager, he molested several underage girls—including some of his sisters. The admission was confirmation of a longstanding and widely circulated rumor about the 19 Kids and Counting Family, and it’s not the only tale out… » 5/29/15 1:36pm Today 1:36pm

Remember When Sony Executives Told Us That Aloha Was Dogshit?

This weekend’s major film release is Cameron Crowe’s Hawaiian wet dream Aloha, starring Bradley Cooper, Rachel McAdams and Bill Murray, plus Caucasian, Arizona-born Emma Stone as a part-native Hawaiian named Allison Ng. Aloha currently has a very bad 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is not a surprise considering the… » 5/29/15 1:28pm Today 1:28pm

Who Gets To Tell Homeless Junkies' Stories?: Heaven Knows What

Things got heated last night on Gawker’s roof, during a post-screening Q&A with the directors of the new movie Heaven Knows What, Josh and Benny Safdie, the film’s director of photography, Sean Price Williams, and one of its stars, Buddy Duress. It happened when Gawker employee Victor Jeffreys pointed out that he had… » 5/29/15 1:10pm Today 1:10pm

Fla. Beachfucker Sentenced to Time Served, Must Register as Sex Offender

One half of the Florida couple convicted of repeatedly having sex on a Florida beach as a grandmother filmed them has been sentenced to time served. Elissa Alvarez, 20, will also have to register as a sex offender.
» 5/29/15 12:58pm Today 12:58pm

Teens Outraged at "No Sausage Rolls" Dress Code for Graduation

The senior boys of Biglerville (Pa.) High School are all getting ready to dress up in khakis and collared shirts for their graduation ceremony this month, per the school’s dress code. Meanwhile, the girls are getting ready to hide their unsightly “sausage rolls, as Mrs. Elliott calls them” also per the dress code,… » 5/29/15 12:48pm Today 12:48pm

Forecasts Suggest Quieter 2015 Hurricane Season, But Storms Still Likely

We’re three days away from the start of hurricane season in the Atlantic Ocean, and we’ve already seen one tropical storm this year. Tropical storms in May aren’t all that rare, but they aren’t exactly an omen, either. Forecasters expect a below-average hurricane season, but it just takes one to make a mess. » 5/29/15 12:36pm Today 12:36pm