Dinesh D'Souza Won't Go to Jail for Violating Campaign Finance Laws

Conservative pundit Dinesh D'Souza was sentenced to five years probation and a $30,000 fine today for violating campaign finance laws. For the first eight months of his probation, D'Souza will have to live in a "community confinement center" and undergo "therapeutic counseling." Basically, he has to go to rehab for… » 9/23/14 3:22pm 13 minutes ago

Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn Are Your New True Detectives

We have finally seen the signs that our exit is coming up on our trip down the long, winding road that is the casting of season two of HBO's True Detective, a television show about white people talking to each other in ponderous soliloquies. HBO has confirmed that Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn will star in the second… » 9/23/14 2:56pm 39 minutes ago

Pennsylvania State Senator Comes Out as Gay in Excellent Fashion

This is how you do it. Earlier today at a press conference regarding Senate Bill 42 and House Bill 177, which would expand Pennsylvania's hate crime law to include attacks based on sexuality and gender identity, the former bill's author, State Senator Jim Ferlo of Pittsburgh, came out as gay. He did it like this: » 9/23/14 2:45pm 50 minutes ago

Raid Kills Two Palestinians Suspected of Murdering Israeli Teens

Before dawn today, Israeli special forces raided a basement in the West Bank and killed two Palestinians suspected of murdering Israeli teens in June. According to the Israeli army, the suspects were Hamas militants Marwan Kawasme, 29, and Amer Abu Aysha, 32. » 9/23/14 2:32pm Today 2:32pm

CDC: Ebola Could Infect 1.4 Million by January

Following the World Health Organization's prediction that the Ebola virus could spread to more than 20,000 cases in Africa by November of this year, the Centers for Disease Control has released their own prediction: 1.4 million cases by mid-January of next year. The CDC's estimation, the Associated Press reports, is… » 9/23/14 1:08pm Today 1:08pm

What S.H.I.E.L.D. Is Getting Right and What It Could Still Get Wrong

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns tonight after a first season that most of us can't remember, but we're hopeful. Co-creator Joss Whedon and cohorts are always making bad television that then somehow swerves into greatness, shows about teenaged female vampire slayers and very old neurotic serial killers and… » 9/23/14 12:53pm Today 12:53pm

Ex-Cisco Engineer Caught On Google Maps Pled Guilty to Wife's Murder

Bradley Graham Cooper, a former engineer for Cisco, pled guilty to second-degree murder in the death of his wife yesterday. Part of the evidence against Cooper was a Google map search to the location of her body. Investigators said Cooper did the search the day before the murder, while his computer was connected to… » 9/23/14 12:31pm Today 12:31pm

The Undeniable Tragicomedy of a Man Orgasming 100 Times Per Day

Dale Decker is a man who says he orgasms in his pants over 100 times per day. As he and his wife explain in the video below, this is a horrible affliction that makes it impossible for him to live any semblance of a normal life. But there is something we must all admit about Dale Decker's story: its tragedy is sadly,… » 9/23/14 12:04pm Today 12:04pm

A Glossary of Islamic State Propaganda Euphemisms

As U.S. bombs fell in Syria for the first time last night, the "official spokesman of the Islamic State of Iraq and Sham" reportedly released a far-ranging 11-page message to its fighters, American opponents, and Muslims worldwide. It makes a tough read, unless you've got a glossary handy. » 9/23/14 11:39am Today 11:39am

"Every One of Them Are Dead": 911 Call From Florida Massacre Released

Gilchrist County, Fla. police have released the 911 call made by Don Spirit the night he shot and killed his daughter and his six grandchildren in their home in the small town of Bell last Thursday evening. "I just shot my daughter and shot all my grandkids and I'll be sitting on my step, and when you get here, I'm… » 9/23/14 11:15am Today 11:15am

Remember the Time Snapchat's New PR Chief Played Dirty NJ Politics?

The next time Snapchat's fratty young master puts his loafers in his maw, his newest hire will be there to assist: Jill Hazelbaker is the app's new communications director, and she has a penchant for internet gaffes herself. » 9/23/14 11:06am Today 11:06am

Amazing Teen Sings Beyoncé in His Mom's Shirt on The Voice

Elyjuh René walked into The Voice wearing braces, a shirt that matched his mom's, and some sort of magical heart-stealing apparatus that makes you want to quit your job, become his best friend, and just sit sit around all day singing Beyoncé songs together. Maybe some Diana Ross, too! » 9/23/14 10:52am Today 10:52am