Idiot Historians Bring Back Cursed Doll

If you hate both sleep and maintaining a general sense of well-being, then boy, do these historians have just the thing for you: Brand new, remastered recordings of long-dead children chanting nursery rhymes. Because when the eternally trapped spirit of a little girl shrieks at you from beyond the grave—you want to be… » 5/05/15 2:45pm 8 minutes ago

Four Seasons Resort Denies David Goldberg Death Scenario

Late yesterday, the New York Times reported that David Goldberg, SurveyMonkey CEO and late husband of Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, had been killed after he slipped on a Four Seasons treadmill in Mexico. That’s a strange way to go—but even stranger is that the resort is now denying it. » 5/05/15 2:32pm 21 minutes ago

Sex Workers: A&E's 8 Minutes Promised Us Help But Gave Us Nothing

Four sex workers who were filmed as part of the A&E reality series 8 Minutes—where former cop and current pastor Kevin Brown “hires” sex workers and then attempts to convince them to leave the business, with the promise of assistance, financial and otherwise—claimed the show was nothing more than false promises. » 5/05/15 2:28pm 25 minutes ago

Frank Bruni, Owner of New $1.5 Million Apartment, Is a Goddamn Sucker

According to the real estate blog 6sqft, Frank Bruni, perhaps the worst of the New York Times’ bad columnists, recently purchased an apartment on West 74th Street in Manhattan for $1.5 million, which is a lot of money. The blog notes that Bruni has acquired “the perfect canvas to create his dream home,” which is a lie… » 5/05/15 1:40pm Today 1:40pm

D.A.R.E. Suckered by Fake Story About Deadly Weed Gummies

D.A.R.E., the ineffective anti-drug program you barely remember from elementary school, is still around, and still warning kids of the dangers of taking any drug in any amount ever. Especially a new and deadly marijuana gummy that was completely made up by a fake news site whose story D.A.R.E. republished in its… » 5/05/15 1:38pm Today 1:38pm

I Got Skimmed in Mexico

When I got back from vacation in Mexico, my bank sent me an alarming email with the subject “Declined Purchases,” which struck me as weird because I didn’t get declined the whole trip. The bank listed the locations—a perfume store and an Autozone in a town I didn’t visit—and I yelled: “I’ve been skimmed!” » 5/05/15 1:00pm Today 1:00pm

Celebrities at the Met Gala, In Order of Increasing Nakedness

Last night’s Met Gala was a real yawn. The theme—China: Through the Looking Glass—threatened to be a hot pot of tacky appropriation, but instead celebrities erred on the side of average, dressing in clothes that were obviously unfit and much too unambitious for the fête of the year.
» 5/05/15 12:46pm Today 12:46pm

This Infamous 2010 'Douche Bag' Manual Ruled a Connecticut High School

Today, somebody sent an angel to our inbox: a once-infamous pick up artistry manual that made the rounds in one very special-sounding Connecticut high school several years back. But could teens in a Connecticut high school possibly know about sex? you might be asking yourself. The answer, both now and throughout the… » 5/05/15 12:40pm Today 12:40pm

Shot, Sake, Margarita, Slush: The Best Drinking Around the World

Caity Weaver and Rich Juzwiak, Gawker’s chief restaurant critics, recently ate, drank, and gasped their way through every international pavilion and theme park attraction at Walt Disney World’s Epcot. This is their review. » 5/05/15 12:30pm Today 12:30pm

Nightmare Roommate Caught on Camera Spitting In and Windexing Food

Twenty-two-year-old Hayley King, a University of South Carolina student, was arrested by police last week after confessing to having spit in and dousing her roommates’ food with Windex. She was charged with unlawful and malicious tampering with human drug product or food, and could face 20 years in prison if convicted. » 5/05/15 12:10pm Today 12:10pm

Ted Cruz Joins "Jade Helm" Conspiracy Lunatic Club

Here is a video of Ted Cruz, the debate team goon who wants to be your next president, agreeing that Barack Obama might possibly be planning to invade the American Southwest under the auspices of “Jade Helm 15,” an Army training exercise. » 5/05/15 12:00pm Today 12:00pm

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson Bond Over a Mutual Love of Met Gala

FKA Twigs and Robert Pattinson reportedly first bonded over a shared love a music. Later, they bonded over a shared love of dance. At last night’s Met Gala, we learned something new about the beautiful young couple: They share a love of the Met Gala, over which they bonded at the Met Gala. » 5/05/15 11:39am Today 11:39am

Portrait of the Artist as a Fame Whore: Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck

Kurt Cobain and Whitney Houston have always had a lot in common, but it was never more apparent than in Brett Morgen’s documentary Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, which premiered on HBO last night. Both Cobain and Houston were addicts who died too young, yes, but through Morgen’s deep dive into Cobain’s private life,… » 5/05/15 11:25am Today 11:25am

After Apologizing, Jeremy Renner Reiterates That Black Widow Is "A Slut"

Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron opened last week, which is great news because it signals that the disastrous press tour for Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron is almost over. Super-bros Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner had to apologize last month for calling Black Widow a “slut” in an interview, and on Conan Monday,… » 5/05/15 11:02am Today 11:02am