Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors: Scott's Final Episode and Kris Jenner's Betrayal

Hell hath no fury like a woman forced to film multiple enraged scenes about how her former husband who is now a woman named Caitlyn badmouthed her to Vanity Fair well over a month after the article in question is released. Kris Jenner’s fury is impressive, but especially when you consider that these scenes filmed well… »10/06/15 7:05pmToday 7:05pm

Did Airport Security Grope Morrissey's Penis and Testicles? See For Yourself

Back in July, dour British funeral singer (vegan funerals only) Morrissey alleged that an airport security officer at San Francisco International Airport had groped his genitals during a pat-down and said that he’d filed a claim for assault. Just a day later, the TSA denied any wrongdoing in a statement to Rolling… »10/06/15 6:55pmToday 6:55pm

Don't Ever Call the Cops on Yourself, Even When You're High as Shit

I think my teddy bear knows I’m high. Do I stink? I think I stink. There’s something really foreboding about the shape of that telephone. I bet it was made in a bad factory. God, I’m a fraid. Maybe if I just put on Planet Earth, I’ll feel better. A fraid? Unless it’s the episode with the fish. Afraid. God, I’m so… »10/06/15 6:04pmToday 6:04pm

How ESPN's Fear Of The Truth Defeated "Black Grantland"

Last month, The Atlantic published an 18,000-word article by Ta-Nehisi Coates called “The Black Family in the Age of Mass Incarceration.” It was the second epic piece in what appears to be a series in which Coates examines the toll of white supremacy as American policy on black life in the United States. The article… »10/06/15 5:18pmToday 5:18pm

Bratayley Family Asks That We Respect Their Privacy, Watch Their Son's Funeral Livestream

“The Bratayleys,” a stage name for the super-viral middle-class Maryland version of the Kardashians, recently suffered the horrid loss of their 13-year-old YouTube star son, Caleb. They’d asked that we respect the family’s privacy for the time being—oh, and make sure to tune in to the dead teen’s memorial! »10/06/15 4:30pmToday 4:30pm

Ben Carson Wouldn't Meet UCC Shooting Victims' Families This Time, But "Would Go to the Next One"

Earlier today, current non-Trump GOP frontrunner Ben Carson went on Fox and Friends to complain about President Obama’s “politicizing” of the Oregon shooting tragedy. And as with all of Ben Carson’s interviews—he probably would have been better off staying home. »10/06/15 4:12pmToday 4:12pm

A Southern-Fried Sleepover at New York’s First Chick-Fil-A, Or How I Won a Year’s Supply of Chicken

Winning enough Chick-fil-A® chicken sandwiches, iced tea, and medium Classic Sides to fill a man’s grave is easy. All you have to do is line up on the sidewalk for three hours with 300 people while the lead-colored sky bleeds into black night; while stinging rain, flung down from heaven by an angry God and then up,… »10/06/15 3:35pmToday 3:35pm

How Can Will Smith Work Alongside Jared Leto for Six Months Without Ever Meeting Jared Leto?

“How can Will Smith work alongside Jared Leto for six months without ever meeting Jared Leto?” It’s a classic riddle—one which has teased the brains of newborn and elderly alike for eons. “A river,” you guess, like an idiot. “A coffin,” you guess, like another idiot. “The surgeon is his mother.” No. »10/06/15 3:26pmToday 3:26pm

White People Control All the Power in Silicon Valley

A new report finds that Silicon Valley’s power structure, the conduits that determine which technologies will shape the fabric of society, is comprised of a representative mix of the people who use them. Ha ha, of course not, ha ha. »10/06/15 3:00pmToday 3:00pm