Texas, a vast desert land populated by terrifying ants, is home to most of America's fastest-growing cities, for reasons that remain unclear.

It was not inevitable that Joe Francis would issue an apology for his remarks to The Hollywood Reporter suggesting the jurors who recently convicted him for unlawful imprisonment should be executed. But what was inevitable is that if an apology were to surface, it would be full of assy qualifications, self-entitlement …

In impromptu remarks made during yesterday's Mass in his residence, Pope Francis shocked many by declaring that atheists can be just as good as Catholics if they "do good."

Last month, a Queens man was grabbed off the street, thrown into an SUV, and then taken to a warehouse where he was burned with acid and beaten, while his kidnappers tried to get $3 million from the man's relatives in Ecuador in exchange for a safe release.

It was early in the morning — one of those hours when even God is still asleep — so you'll have to forgive Morgan Freeman for dozing off during an on-air interview with Tacoma-based Fox affiliate Q13 about his new film Now You See Me.