Teens Caught Red-Handed Spray Painting Boobs on Civil War Memorial

Two teens were arrested by police early Thursday morning defacing the 114-year-old Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil War Memorial Monument in Manhattan's Upper West Side. The teens, the New York Post reports, spray painted "doodles, tag names, crude happy and sad faces" on the monument. Also: boobs. » 8/29/14 12:10pm 5 minutes ago

Teen Rocker Snapchats His Boner, Girl Uploads It For the World to See

Ah, to be a teen idol. So many people want to see your dick! And you probably want to show so many people your dick. Still, a bad way to go about this is sending Snapchats of your boner to random girls, a lesson learned by Calum Hood of 5 Seconds of Summer, whose dick—which you can see above in the… » 8/29/14 11:46am 29 minutes ago

Angry Birds CEO Resigns Because Who the Hell Still Plays That?

There was a moment in recent history when Angry Birds, a smartphone game people play on the toilet, was poised to sweep all of pop culture. There would be Angry Bird theme parks, museums, stuffed animals, and tampons. Now, that dream is dead. » 8/29/14 11:35am 40 minutes ago

Drunken Bathroom Brawl Forces Flight to Divert With Military Escort

Two passengers who had allegedly consumed a "significant quantity" of alcohol caused a Sunwing flight from Toronto to Cuba to return to the airport under a military escort after they smoked in the bathroom, tripped a fire alarm, got into a fight, and made a "threat against the aircraft." » 8/29/14 11:01am Today 11:01am

Why America's Current Fleet Of Presidential Limos Suck

With a new presidential limo contract soon to be rewarded, it's probably a good time to look at the current terrible limo. Like America's foreign policy at the time of its introduction, "The Beast" was a clumsy solution to a delicate set of priorities that caused more problems that it solved. » 8/29/14 10:29am Today 10:29am

"Fuck Her Right in the Pussy" Kid Gets Suspended, Becomes School Hero

The "Fuck Her Right in the Pussy" meme—which, in case you've managed to avoid it, involves saying "fuck her right in the pussy" into any microphone (that's literally all it is)—began as a dumb hoax, but has taken on a dumb life of its dumb own. High schoolers think it's the height of hilarity. » 8/29/14 10:12am Today 10:12am

Remembering the Wylie-Hoffert Case, a Double Murder With Three Victims

A little over 50 years ago, in the last days of a summer something like this one, a woman returned home from her publishing job to find a literal bloody mess. She shared the apartment on East 88th St between Madison and Park with two other young women in their early 20s. She took a few steps into the living room and… » 8/29/14 9:00am Today 9:00am

Ft. Hood Shooter Nidal Hasan Pens Letter Asking to Join ISIS

Nidal Hasan, the Army psychiatrist who was convicted of murdering 13 people in the 2009 shooting Fort Hood, has written a letter to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi requesting his acceptance into the group's self-declared caliphate. "I formally and humbly request to be made a citizen of the Islamic State," Hasan… » 8/29/14 8:07am Today 8:07am