Hamas Admits to Kidnapping, Killing Three Israeli Teens

Senior Hamas leader Salah Arouri said in a news conference yesterday that Hamas was indeed responsible for the kidnapping and killing of three Israeli teens that sparked the current crisis in Gaza. While Hamas has praised the act before, no Hamas official has explicitly taken credit for it. » 8/21/14 3:05pm 24 minutes ago

The Huffington Post Crowdsources New Reporter’s Salary

The Huffington Post today announced that it had chosen Mariah Stewart, a journalist based in St. Louis, as its inaugural "Ferguson Fellow" to investigate the August 9 killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. over the next twelve months. One problem: Neither HuffPost nor its multi-millionaire namesake Arianna… » 8/21/14 2:55pm 34 minutes ago

No Charges for "Nervous" Grandma Who Shot 7-Year-Old Grandson

What is a good reason to keep a loaded gun on a nightstand near your preteen grandkids and fire indiscriminately at one of them in the dark? According to the United States' legal consensus, being afraid is enough, because the United States is full of irrational, scared, armed citizens, and God bless 'em, huh? » 8/21/14 2:36pm 53 minutes ago

Gov. Orders "Systematic" Withdrawal of National Guard From Ferguson

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has called for a "systematic" recalling of the state's National Guard from policing protests in Ferguson. The order follows a night of relative peace in the St. Louis suburb, where tensions remain high, but violence appears to be diminishing. » 8/21/14 2:28pm Today 2:28pm

50 Cent's ALS Challenge for Floyd Mayweather: Prove You Can Read

50 Cent used the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge to troll his former friend, boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather, with a contest of a different nature. Fuck a bucket of ice and $100: 50 will donate $750,000 to any charity if Mayweather can read an entire page of a Harry Potter book. » 8/21/14 1:52pm Today 1:52pm

Pandora Reveals Most Promising Diversity Numbers Yet

Pandora has become the latest Bay Area tech firm to disclose their diversity data. And of all the companies to release their numbers thus far, the pioneering music streaming and recommendation company is the first to reveal itself to be virtually equal parts male and female, the Wall Street Journal reports. » 8/21/14 1:28pm Today 1:28pm

Neo-Nazis Fall for The Onion's Psychic Adam Sandler Story

Sometimes a work of satire is so profound, so incisive that the twisted society it came from can't even recognize it for a farce. Other times people are just really, really dumb. The latter was almost certainly the case this week when ClickHole—The Onion's BuzzFeed parody site—published "5 Tragedies Weirdly… » 8/21/14 1:19pm Today 1:19pm

Couple Uploads Beautiful Selfie From Phone They Might Have Stolen

These two lovebirds are wanted in connection to the burglary of a woman's home in Santa Clarita, Ca. Someone broke through a window and stole cash, jewelry, and electronics, including the phone the couple used to take this selfie with. They were determined persons of interest by police after their selfie was found… » 8/21/14 12:35pm Today 12:35pm

Sam Smith's Fucked-Up Gay Conservatism

Angel-voiced Brit Sam Smith is gay, but not like those terrifying spermwhores who love sex sooooo much and will eat your children because they think it strengthens their boners. He is also 22. Since 22-year-olds routinely spout bullshit about things they know little about in an attempt to render a monolithic… » 8/21/14 2:11pm Today 2:11pm