Texas Highway Shut Down for Hours Following Gigantic Beer Can Spill

Houston Police spent five hours this morning cleaning up a highway covered in beer after an 18-wheeler carrying dozens of cases of Busch beer and a car collided on the Katy Freeway. KHOU reports that the 18-wheeler jackknifed and rolled over, spilling the hundreds of beer cans across multiple lanes of the highway. » 9/02/14 11:58am 2 minutes ago

A Very Confused CNN Wonders: "Who is 4chan?"

After this weekend's stolen nudity spree, clueless reporters across the world are wondering: where is Reddit? When is iCloud? And who is 4chan.org? Some sort of "hacker"? CNN technology analyst Brett Larson is here to identify a website. » 9/02/14 11:42am 18 minutes ago

Horny Redditors Donate Thousands to Cancer Research in J-Law's Honor

The bizarre silver lining to this whole leaked celebrity nudes thing: a group of Redditors is so enamored with Jennifer Lawrence's naked body that they've donated thousands of dollars to the Prostate Cancer Foundation in her honor. » 9/02/14 11:15am 45 minutes ago

What's Your Strategy for Messing With the "Islamic State"?

Barack Obama talked to the media last week about U.S. action against the Islamic State and went off-script, saying offhand that the U.S. didn't have a strategy yet for defeating the fundamentalist dirtbags muscling in on Iraq. But what would a good strategy look like? How do you solve a problem like Sharia? » 9/02/14 11:05am 54 minutes ago

Dream Wedding Ends With 3 Arrests After Groom Hits on Pregnant Worker

A wedding in Pittsburgh's Station Square ended in a bloodied mess when three men were arrested for fighting outside of the reception late Saturday night. The groom, who was among those arrested, reportedly triggered the brawl after allegedly hitting on a pregnant reception worker and then challenging the worker's… » 9/02/14 10:27am Today 10:27am

Angelina Jolie's Wedding Outfit Had Her Kids' Scribbles All Over It

Used to be Angelina Jolie showed everyone she was a wild angel by allowing the actor Billy Bob Thornton to perform acts of coitus with her and having a godawful dragon tattoo. Now that she's more mature, she has to dream up new ways to subvert our perceptions—of what a bride should wear on her wedding day; of what is… » 9/02/14 10:15am Today 10:15am

John Oliver Responds to His Hateful YouTube Commenters

John Oliver has covered some pretty serious issues on Last Week Tonight—the situation in Ferguson, the security of the U.S. nuclear arsenalbut with his show on a break for Labor Day weekend, he addressed the least important topic of our time: YouTube comments. » 9/02/14 10:06am Today 10:06am

Three Americans Detained in North Korea Plead for American Help

Three Americans being held as prisoners in North Korea—Kenneth Bae, Matthew Todd Miller, and Jeffrey Edward Fowle—were granted surprise interviews with two American news organizations, the Associated Press and CNN, Monday. All three men described their overall humane treatment but also pleaded for Washington's… » 9/02/14 9:59am Today 9:59am

Maybe We'll Have a War in Somalia Now, or Just Keep Quietly Bombing It

Pentagon officials announced over the weekend that they'd executed some kind of an air-strike operation against members of Al-Shabaab, an Islamist militant group in Somalia, because apparently defense planners are really used to multitasking at this point, and it feels weird now to just bomb one thing, you know? » 9/02/14 9:53am Today 9:53am

Tamra Is Bitter, Miserable, and More on Real Housewives of OC Reunion

It's the final installment of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion, which means everyone gets one last chance to tell Tamra what a monster she is! In the midst of it all, Tamra delivers one emphatic "FUCK YOU" to Vicki, who drops, "You're supposed to be getting better and better and better, but guess what? You… » 9/02/14 9:45am Today 9:45am

Yet Another Flight Diverted After Battle Over Reclining Seats

The latest skirmish in the great legroom wars of 2014 took place on a flight from New York City to Palm Beach, Florida, Monday, as the third commercial flight in just one week was diverted after passengers argued over a reclining seat. » 9/02/14 9:38am Today 9:38am

Teenhunt Underway After 32 Teens Escape Detention Center in Nashville

Thirty-two teenage boys escaped from the Woodland Hills Youth Development Center in Nashville Monday night by taking advantage of a "weak spot" in a "anti-climb chain-linked fence"—crawling underneath. Fifteen of the teens either turned themselves in or were found by authorities, CNN reports. A number of the boys,… » 9/02/14 8:23am Today 8:23am