Despite all the excited shouting, there's nothing particularly cheerful about Yahoo's maternal adoption
Dead California Cop Faces Prison For Rape, Kidnapping
Anthony Nicolas Orban already killed himself in jail, but the justice system isn't done with the evil California cop who abducted a diner waitress at gunpoint and raped her behind a storage shed in a seedy Inland Empire town.
Jann Wenner's Kid Is the New Head of RollingStone.com
Rolling Stone owner Jann Wenner has a knack for picking talent. So we're sure his online staff will give a hearty welcome to their new boss: Jann Wenner's fresh-out-of-college kid.
Mayoral Candidate Charged for Defacing Signs with (Weak) Pussy Joke
It's Pussy versus Butts in a race to the bottom next Election Day in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania's ninth-largest (and capital) city, and a renowned "broke-ass sinkhole of despair
Pistachios Are the Fifth-Best Nut
I like pistachio nuts. In fact, I would say that pistachios are the fifth best variety of nut in the whole wide world.
Unemployed Woman Blames Lack of Work on Being 'Too Attractive'
A London woman who has been unemployed for the last two years says it's not for lack of trying, but rather for excess — of good looks.
Surgeons at the Fourth Military Medical University in Xi'an, China, say they transplanted a genetically modified piece of pig liver into a Tibetan macaque this month, according to the state-run China Daily. The gene-altered pig-monkey was reportedly in stable condition at the army-affiliated research facility.
More than 100 mourners turned up on Saturday night to a candlelight vigil for Mark Carson, the 32-year-old gay man shot and killed by a homophobe
Seamless and GrubHub, two nearly identical online food-ordering companies whose business model consists of providing a service that is already available for free, announced Monday that they would be merging into one giant online food-ordering hydra. The new company, which has not yet settled on a name, will enable and promote social anxiety in 500 U.S. cities by eliminating the traumatic element of "human verbal interaction" from pizza delivery. The co-founder and CEO of GrubHub will serve as the CEO of the new Sterling Cooper Draper Seamless Grubhub. The CEO of Seamless will serve as president. If your cat dies, the new organization will probably start a twitter fight with you about it.
