This Man Wants His Penis To Be the Most Famous Penis on Earth (NSFW)

Tom Mitchell so loves his penis that he calls it "Elmo" and wants to donate it—not for science, exactly, but for mass admiration. Coming in somewhere between a real, live Christopher Guest character and someone who'd be profiled on a TLC reality show, Mitchell is the clear star of directors Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math's » 4/16/14 12:40pm Today 12:40pm

Do Not Drive Across a Flooded Roadway Like These Dumbasses in Vermont

A group of idiot drivers in Cambridge, Vermont drove through moving floodwaters along the Lamoille River on Tuesday after heavy rains pushed the river above its banks. While the cars made it safely across, just one or two more inches of water would have likely resulted in their being washed off the road and killed. » 4/16/14 12:26pm Today 12:26pm

Attention SoHo Boutiques: Do Not Let Taylor Swift Return These Jeans

Nashville drifter Taylor was photographed in New York City on Tuesday, trying out a cheerful spring look and running a scam as usual. While we don't know for sure if her bag was made of carpet, we can say for certain that her jeans were made of 55% Cotton/42% Tencel/3% Polyurethane, because she left the tag on them.… » 4/16/14 12:15pm Today 12:15pm

Is Mark Zuckerberg Too Old to Run Facebook?

The fable of the dropout prodigy is so widely-told in Silicon Valley that it even came back to bite the enfant terrible who inspired it. In a new Q&A in the New York Times, Farhad Manjoo asks 29-year-old Mark Zuckerberg if he's out of touch with teens. » 4/16/14 12:07pm Today 12:07pm

KFC Is Bringing Back the Double Down

In recognition of America's insatiable craving for chicken, chicken-like food products, and Frankenfoods, KFC is resurrecting its stomach-turning bunless chicken sandwich, the Double Down. The monster was first introduced in 2010, but its availability in the U.S. has been limited over the past few years. » 4/16/14 11:40am Today 11:40am

Income Inequality Institute Will Pay Paul Krugman $25,000 Per Month

In late February, the City University of New York announced that it had tapped Princeton economist and New York Times blogger Paul Krugman for a distinguished professorship at CUNY’s Graduate Center and its Luxembourg Income Study Center, a research arm devoted to studying income patterns and their effect on… » 4/16/14 11:30am Today 11:30am

Google Glass Wearer in L.A. Gets Robbed at Taser-Point

One good reason to avoid buying a $1,500 privacy-degrading headset is that people will hate you because of it. Another good reason is that you might get threatened with a stun device and robbed. » 4/16/14 11:09am Today 11:09am

Paul Walker to Be Played By His Brothers in Fast & Furious 7

Producers for Fast & Furious 7 posted a surprising announcement on the upcoming movie's Facebook page Tuesday: Paul Walker will be played by his own brothers in the scenes that have yet to be filmed. Because in Hollywood, the show must always go on, even if that show is yet another sequel no one really needed. » 4/16/14 10:44am Today 10:44am

Watch an LA Chef Remix Oreo Cookies Into Chips and Shandies

Playing with your food can be fun, but what about hacking your food? Oreo thinks that's even better. That's why they've launched their Snack Hack initiative by giving Michael Voltaggio a bag of Oreo cookies: they wanted to see how he might remix a snack that's done just fine on its own for 102 years. » 4/15/14 4:00pm Yesterday 4:00pm