Law enforcement officials in Florida believe they know who was behind the May 5th shooting death of a Lauderhill man — because the mastermind accidentally butt-dialed 911 and practically confessed to the crime.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

As of this writing, the Rob Ford Crackstarter—our attempt to crowdfund $200,000 to purchase and publish a video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine—has exceeded $145,000. At the rate it's going, we will reach our goal by Saturday, if not sooner. Since it looks like the money may actually come together, we…

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

OK, really, we get it, Anthony Weiner. You're running for Mayor of New York City. You think you should be given a second chance, and you won't give this shit a rest, even though you are, by all accounts, a pretty big dick with a curved dick that you SEXTED TO RANDOMS while MARRIED TO HILLARY CLINTON'S HOMEGIRL (who…

Pike Place Market butcher William Von Schneidau calls his latest creation the "pot pig."