Tuesday - February 2, 2010

Butt Poke Cops Totally Did It

A Brooklyn transit cop testified that a fellow cop did in fact shove a baton into into the butt of police-brutalitied New Yorker Michael Mineo. Which—Occam's razor—means the cops are totally guilty. Payday TK, bro.

LOST: Choose Your Own Adventure

The 'Alternate Eden' theory proves true, and it's up to you to ensure the operation was successful. You and you alone are in charge of what happens in this story. You are the final variable. [Gawker.TV]

Harold Ford Answers for His Crimes Against Consistency

Zagat reviewer and supposed Senate candidate Harold Ford did Colbert last night. He deftly met every joke with an inane talking point, just like a real Senate candidate! More »

Which Star's Sex Habit Is Corrupting a Younger Sibling?

We all need someone to look up to, and this kid is looking up at her famous sister copulating in public, in private, and everywhere. This different bad example lied about her illness to sick children. Such positive role models! More »

Gynecology Saves Journalism

Former New York Post dating columnist Mandy Stadtmiller flew out to Nevada to spend a couple hours with "Markus," America's first legal male prostitute, for journalism. What a job! Free travel, free massage, and a free gynecological exam. More »
#beautifulawards

Blind Sided: Your Oscar Nominations Are In

Well, not your nominations. But you know what we mean. Anne Hathaway and her good friend Old Dude delivered the shimmering news just minutes ago. More »
#frontpages

Does Anyone Have $3.8tn We Can Borrow?

The budget dominates the front pages — the WSJ don't like the tax rises for the wealthy, everyone else analyzes the deficit. There are great stories from Afghanistan and Pakistan, and some surprising news about the joys of abstinence. More »

Sarah Palin Calls For Rahm Emanuel to be Fired

You can't keep a barracuda down. Palin, perhaps dimly conscious that she had not been in any headlines recently, decided to disdain the White House chief-of-staff (and massacre the English language) in a Facebook posting last night. More »

Scientologists in Haiti: A Firsthand Account

We've spoken to someone who traveled to Haiti on a Scientology plane — and witnessed firsthand the ineptitude, quackery and irresponsibility of the church's minions in a disaster zone. Here's his account. More »
#gossiproundup

Diddy Gets Sucked Into J.Lo's Nightmarish Sex Tape Fiasco

A rumored Diddy-J.Lo sex tape may not exist, but enters court proceedings anyway; Katy Perry used Google to figure out when Russell Brand would propose; We Are the World: Haiti Edition records, Gerard Butler jokes about being gay. Tuesday gossip! More »

Facebook's iPhone App: The Best and Worst Thing to Happen to One-Night Stands

You'd think this iPhone app would be a juggernaut from booty call heaven. You'd be wrong. One man's cautionary tale from the trenches of tech-savvy casual sex. More »

Karl Rove: Harold Ford, Jr. Is 'Articulate, Attractive'

(1.) How have white people still not learned to stop marveling at "articulate" black leaders? (2.) This should make a good attack ad for incumbent New York Senator and Ford competitor Kirsten Gillibrand. More »
Monday - February 1, 2010

Ann Curry Trapped in New York Times Elevator for One Well-Documented Hour

What happens when a group of social media freaks—including Ann Curry—get trapped in an elevator? It is electronically recorded and broadcast over the internet at near-dizzying speed. Welcome to the most thoroughly documented elevator entrapment ever. More »

Teabugger James O'Keefe Speaks, Defends Unique Brand of Fake Journalism

Why would anybody pretend to be a journalist? If you're going to play make-believe, go all out: Pretend to be something cool, like an astronaut! On Hannity tonight, make-believe investigative journalist James O'Keefe continued to underwhelm us with his imagination. More »

Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Prevents Premature Poking

A new, pretty impressive study shows abstinence-only sex ed convinced a "significant portion" of 6th and 7th graders to avoid humping each other for two years. What if we teach kids how to have bad sex? They'll never start! [WaPo]
#picoftheday

Counter Intuitive

[A beautiful photo like this can't be bad for business, but this Brooklyn diner can't seem to attract more than a sole customer. Image via fErTaS' Flickr]
#talkingpoints

Get Used to These Words!

GOP pollster Frank Luntz released his "anti-financial regulation reform" talking points! The days Luntz introduces the words that everyone will use over and over again until Fox listeners have completely internalized misinformation are like holidays. More »
#twitterati

Paid Content Guy Fails to Get Paid for Content

NYU took free courseware from PaidContent's founder; your outfit freaked out Caroline McCarthy; and Emily Brill called on Google to live out loud, like her. The Twitterati eyed their circumstances warily. More »

Teabaggers Can't Decide Who the Real Teabaggers Are

So, the Tea Party movement is still a hilarious mess. The "Tea Party Patriots" think the "Tea Party Express" is a scam and the upcoming "Tea Party Convention" is basically a huge ripoff. More »
#opencaption

This Whole Taylor Momsen Thing Is Not Going to End Well

[The former president of the Lemoncake Stupid Society goes to work as the chairman of the Darkstink Frowning Coalition in New York today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Comments of the Day — Soiled Pyjamas Edition

One time at the end of every work day (well, not the end for you nighttime suckerz — eat it, Ravi, Adrian, and Maureen!) we honor a coupla comments that made us chuckle or weep or chuckleweep. Today they are: More »

How to Make Fun of Twenty-somethings

Have you heard about this kid, James O'Keefe? Grandiosely playing journalist and getting arrested in the classic Watergate fashion—why, his hilariously mis-channeled post-college angst is enough to make you write a How-To list mocking his whole godforsaken age demographic! More »

Life after Condé Nast: Former Domino Editor No Longer Living Under Uncle Si's Roof

When Condé Nast folds a magazine, it doesn't just clear out the desks. There's also the messy business of disentangling the top editors from all the perks that came with being in S.I. Newhouse's good graces. Ask Domino's Deborah Needleman. More »

Andrew Brietbart: Happy About 'Watergate Jr,' Mad at 'Decadent Bastards'

He says he's happy, but Andrew Breitbart sure sounds really mad, still! "These are the last days of disco, baby," Andrew shouted in a room somewhere this weekend to a camera. "These decadent bastards are going down." Decadent? More »

Gawker Artists NSFW Party: Definitely Not Safe For Your Office

When we first saw Justine Lai's "Join or Die" series, we just knew this art should be hanging at Gawker HQ. Thanks in part to Diesel, we made that happen. They dared us to "Be Stupid" and we happily obliged. Slightly-NSFW photo proof inside. More »

How a Layabout Used the Huffington Post to Become a Rothschild

Meet Stefan "Monty" Roberts. You might know him better as Stefan de Rothschild, whose $2.5 million donation to Haiti relief was heralded by the Washington Post, who was quoted by Reuters and who, naturally, had a Huffington Post blog. More »
#clipjob

Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day

Today at Gawker.TV, The View joins in the Scott Brown fever, Arrested Development with a laugh track, Good Day New York Rihanna gaffe, The Cleveland Show's lessons on legalized weed, and The Worst Cooks in America are still crying! More »

The Cable Movie Rewatchability Index

With cable TV rerunning our favorite movies at a vicious rate, it is hard to determine whether or not one should give up two hours to the cable gods. Finally, we have a handy formula to help us decide. More »

Obama Refuses to Send Anyone Else to the Moon

President Obama is on a roll lately. He gave a sassy State of the Union and then he embarrassed House Republicans on TV and now he is agreeing with us that Space is Not Worth it. More »
#beautifulawards

Forecasting the Oscar Nominations: All Tomorrow's Snubs

Tomorrow is Gay Christmas Eve, with Oscar nominations announced in the ayem, setting hearts aflutter and sending visions of sugarplum fairy Hugh Jackman dancing through heads. We have a good idea of who will be nominated, but who should be? More »