Christian Audigier, the founder of Ed Hardy and French-born creator of countless aesthetic blights on humanity, has listed both of his California dreamboat mansions.

The Topanga Ranch hacienda, shown above, is listed at $3.29 million. Chump change for the interior decorating marvels at work here! Sprawled across over three acres, the property comes complete with a pool and cabana, vineyard, several guest houses, and a former chapel. (You can marry up and marry well in a snakeskin wedding dress from his Ed Hardy Wedding Collection.) The home is decorated in a western theme, because of course.

His L.A. nightmare was first listed in October for $8.29 million; it's since been reduced to $7.65 million. All interested buyers should know that bedazzled cow skulls are an accepted (and encouraged) form of currency.

[Curbed, images via Realtor.com]