Ho hum. Another day, another radiation leak at the infamous Three Mile Island nuclear plant in Pennsylvania. Why are we even bothering to report this? It's so insignificant as far as these things go. ("These things" being radiation leaks.)

[Huge yawn.]

What were we talking about, again? Microwaves or something? Oh, yes, the radiation leak at Three Mile Island—that not-too-far-away nuclear power plant where in 1979 a partial meltdown scared the crap out of everyone. Saturday afternoon, an airborne radiation alarm sounded at the facility. According to CNN:

Tests showed the contamination in Saturday's incident was confined to the building itself, and none was found outside, Exelon said. There was no threat to public health and safety, but the workers were sent home because they could not continue until the area was cleaned, Bill Noll, Exelon vice president, said in the Saturday statement.

One worker was found to have received 16 millirem of exposure, and others received lower levels of contamination. The annual occupational dose limit for workers at Exelon plants is 2,000 millirem, the statement said.

Such an adorable and harmless little radiation leak. I mean, 16 millirems? That's about as much radiation as you're exposed to if you stand too close to Lady Ga Ga's hair. In fact the leak was so insignificant that Exelon, the power company which runs TMI, didn't notify state officials until 5 1/2 hours after the leak occurred.

So, continue with your lazy Saturday evenings, readers. We hear the Curb Your Enthusiasm season finale is going to knock your socks off!

(P.S. ALL SUPERSECRET SURVIVAL ARK TICKET-HOLDERS REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST SUBTERRANEAN ESCAPE POD AND PREPARE FOR IMMEDIATE DEPARTURE. BRING YOUR GUNS. THE TIME IS NEAR. WE REPEAT THE TIME IS NEAR.)