He’s in! He’s got a website where he flaunts his geeker glasses and salutes a lot. Presumably he’s been working on his mnemonics, but hopefully not. Oh, happy day. Happy happy day. 2016, brothers. We will ride through the gates of Valhalla shiny and chrome. Witness me!

In the meantime, check out the hot news headlines on his website:

Or this definitive collection of Rick Perry gay sex/small dick rumors. Whichever. Beauteous day!

[Make sure you have a last will and testament. 2016 nears.]

Contact the author at adam@gawker.com.
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