Rising inequality. Irreversible climate change. A possible third Grown Ups movie. These are just a few of the challenges facing America in the 21st Century. Luckily, our country is protected by our almighty creator who (when he isn’t smiting eponymous fast food chains) is apparently telling our legislators to address pressing issues like publicly exposed boxer shorts.
Or so says Frank Goodman, a councilman in Dadeville, Alabama who recently proposed a city ordinance banning saggy pants.
“What would God do? Did God go around doing this?”
The councilman added: “He would [not] show me this saggy pant—it’s one of the things He did not do. It is not in His orders to do that to gain eternal life.”
At a council meeting this month, Goodman explained how drooping denim is “disrespectful,” a bad example to children, and bars the wearer from gainful employment. He told his colleagues what he told a Daily Beast reporter: “I prayed about this. I know that God would not go around with pants down.”
“My concern is it should be for everybody,” councilwoman Stephanie Kelley reportedly said. “I think for the girls, with these shorts up so high looking like under garments and dresses so short, I don’t want us to be showing favoritism.”
The city’s attorney told the paper he hopes to have draft of the ordinance ready by the time next time the council meets.