Quentin Tarantino is suing his neighbor, fellow Oscar winning writer Alan Ball over Ball's pet macaws, which "emit blood-curdling screams." Fair enough! But Tarantino's lawsuit is ridiculously worded, and starts off by quoting Goethe: "He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home." Good grief. Here's more of the lawsuit:

"Nearly every day, Mr Tarantino and others in his home are subjected to the macaws' obnoxious pterodactyl-like screams, which are not only startling, but have also seriously disrupted Mr Tarantino's ability to work as a writer in his home."

Poor guy. And Ball apparently doesn't get it:

"Though one might assume that, as a fellow writer, Mr Ball would understand and respect a writer's need for peace and quiet while he is working, that assumption would be wrong."

Ugh. We're pulling for you, Mr. Ball.

[Independent; Image via AP]