Tonight’s state of the union rebuttal was delivered by South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley. And truthfully, she could have said anything tonight and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Because tonight, America only had eyes for Nikki Haley’s incredible, unmoving jaw.
As you can see from the speech below, if politics doesn’t work out, Haley has a long and illustrious career in ventriloquism ahead of her.
The difficulty of delivering an entire speech without moving your mouth aside, the real question is: What the hell was Haley doing? And America demanded answers.
Why Nikki Haley talk with her teeth clenched?— Charlamagne Tha God (@cthagod) January 13, 2016
Does Nikki Haley always talk with her teeth clenched? Was she a ventriloquist? #StateOfTheUnion— Gerard Mulligan (@GerardMulligan1) January 13, 2016
"I'm here, tonight, to tell you about teeth whitening." — Gov. Nikki Haley #SOTU— Jory John (@joryjohn) January 13, 2016
real question: are nikki haley’s teeth glued together?— joe mande (@JoeMande) January 13, 2016
How does Nikki Haley get food into her body if her top and bottom teeth never come apart? #SOTU— Matt Passet (@MPasset) January 13, 2016
HOW IS NIKKI HALEY SPEAKING WITHOUT MOVING HER TEETH— Dennis A. Wilson (@DennisWilsonIII) January 13, 2016
NIKKI HALEY WHY WON'T YOUR TEETH SEPARATE WHEN YOU TALK??? #SOTU— Nick Johnson (@NXJ13) January 13, 2016
In addition to offering some relatively plausible theories.
Nikki Haley looks like she's being held at gun point while giving the Republican response to #SOTU. Eyes wide and teeth clenched.— kathleen (@kathleenyano) January 13, 2016
Nikki Haley can't open her mouth any wider otherwise the little alien controlling her body will escape. #GOPresponse— Jill Biden (@JillBidenVeep) January 13, 2016
Why won't Nikki Haley's teeth part? Is her jaw wired shut? Are her teeth a personal "wall to keep immigrants out?" pic.twitter.com/35ePLkQzOJ— Emily Teachout (@emilyteachout) January 13, 2016
Nikki Haley seems lovely and yet I wish she would open her mouth when she speaks. Is she worried refugees will get in? #sotu— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) January 13, 2016
No matter the reason, there is one thing we know for certain: No republican should give a State of the Union response. Ever.