America's Most Notorious Naval Base Is Hiring Substitute Teachers

"Do you want to work for an exciting educational organization, with the children of our dedicated U.S. Military members?", asks the posting on a federal government jobs site. Well, of course you do. Who wouldn't? But do you want to do it at Guantanamo Bay?

Yes, if you're willing to work for $50.50 to $101 per day, you too can be a substitute teacher at the naval base that houses America's most elite unconstitutional interrogative correctional academy™. You'll teach military brats ages K-12, giving lessons in "subject matter and skills that will contribute to their educational and social development." You'll fulfill "non-instructional duties as assigned and/or as needed." You'll learn to accept the violence that's taken place within Gitmo's borders, and eventually, that hollow, uneasy feeling in the bottom of your stomach will subside.

Qualified candidates will be U.S. Citizens who meet Selective Service requirements. You'll also have to be living within commuting distance of Gitmo already, or due to arrive within two months. Some more guidelines:

DoDDS employs the best qualified professional staff to implement its program of learning. The best qualified candidate is defined as an applicant who possesses a baccalaureate degree from an institution accredited by a regional accrediting association which includes 18 semester hours of coursework in the field of professional teacher education; a baccalureate degree in any major; or an associate degree or has completed at least 60 semester hours of college coursework or if necessary, selection may be made on minimum qualification requirement. The minimum qualification is a high school diploma or graduate equivalency diploma (GED).

Sound like you? Applications are due July 9.

[Image via AP, h/t Jason Leopold]