Driving on highways is hard. Driving while trying to teach your children good pro-American values and warding off hippies in old Volvo wagons? Damn near impossible. Thank God Michigan is on our side, y'all.
Some longhaired Uncle-Sam-hating peacenik wanted push his agenda by cloaking himself in the Bill of Rights, according to the Battle Creek Enquirer. But for once, the government is taking a stand in defense of the everyday average patriot against this licentious scourge:
The state of Michigan is defending its rejection of an anti-war license plate, saying children riding in cars need to be protected from seeing "WAR SUX."
Attorneys for the secretary of state's office asked a judge this month to dismiss a lawsuit that accuses officials of violating the First Amendment by broadly controlling speech. David DeVarti, a Washtenaw County man, wanted the six-letter plate but was turned down.
A succinct but largely vague political statement on a license plate? In Michigan, the cradle of America's driving culture? THE NERVE. We have a fresh, impressionable generation of future expeditionary warriors to nurture in our backseats, goshdammit:
"[B]ecause vehicles often travel in residential neighborhoods, youth may be exposed to license plates from their yards or driveways," said Ann Sherman, an assistant attorney general.
"Courts have often upheld legislation aimed at protecting the physical and emotional well-being of youth, even where First Amendment rights are concerned...
"Drivers cannot avoid an offensive word on a license plate in front of them because they cannot safely avert their eyes.
"And physically avoiding the plate by changing lanes may not be possible," she said.
This Ann Sherman gets us. We don't change lanes, America. We barrel on, confidently. On I-94. In Iraq and Afghanistan. In heaven with baby Jesus. Love it or leave it, automotively inclined beatniks. If you don't like it, I bet they got those bike shares over in Tehran!
[Photo credit: Michigan.org]