No one ever said it’s easy to take a stand against the federal government: it’s cold, there aren’t enough snacks, everyone is pissy, and a bunch of strangers won’t stop sending you hate mail and dicks.
Oregon militia organizer Jon Ritzheimer really, really fuckin’ hates Uncle Sam. But what he hates even more is all of the obscene and generally unhelpful emails and packages that strangers from around the country and Gawker are sending to his band of armchair commandos. In a new Facebook post and accompanying video, Ritzheimer says he’s sick of this garbage:
It’s sad that there are people who would spend this kind of money on this rather than spending it to do good in the world. I’m done living in fear of an oppressing force. I’m going to uphold my oath to the Constitution and sleep great at night knowing that I did everything in my power to ensure what our founding fathers did for us will not be lost.
He takes particular issue with an enormous dildo and a “bag of dicks” that appear to be made out of candy—a form of snack, so I’m not sure what his beef is here. Militia spokesperson Maureen “Mo” Peltier echoes Ritzheimer’s disgust:
People spending money to send items representing their hate. That could have been spent on good things. Or those in need. Or something.
Billy Gober posted a genius idea, sell it back on ebay. So, keep sending stupid shit, it’s gonna turn a dime for them. Lol Economics!
I love the idea of the Oregon militiamen selling dildos on eBay, so yes, consider the plan fully endorsed.
Ritzheimer’s video ends with him sweeping the entire table of anti-militia mail onto the floor in an extremely dramatic fashion.
As unpleasant as this occupation has been, we can at least take satisfaction in knowing that we, as a people, came together as one to make the leader of the armed band of dangerous idiots get mad online.