Hans Shmidheiser, 30, allegedly began his mini crime spree around 8 a.m. when he spotted a man out walking a dog in Brooklyn. According to the New York Post, he approached the man, picked up the dog, and asked the dog, "Who the fuck are you?"
After the dog ostensibly did not answer the question, Shmidheiser approached a female pedestrian and told her he needed to go to the hospital because he had been drinking a lot of blood. He proceeded to dump a red liquid on her — which thankfully turned out to be juice and not blood — and was promptly arrested. He's being charged with menacing and harassment, both misdemeanors. Shmidheiser was a professor at the university from 2004 to 2008.