Noted Virginia awful person and loser of political races Ken Cuccinelli doesn't want you to end up like George Zimmerman: Don't let shooting a person to death out of overzealous racially tinged vigilantism wipe out your savings!
Cuccinelli—who as a state legislator and attorney general of Virginia tried to ban anchor babies, abortions, gay sex, gay rights, and climate science—has found a new calling in life defending human rights. Well, one human right, really: The right to terrorize other humans with portable multiple human-killing machines, called "guns."
Such is the raison d'être of Virginia Self Defense Law, the new firm being started by Cuccinelli and three firearms-lovin' fellow travelers. "If you own a gun, you NEED VSDL!" the firm's site screams. "Even lawful use of your firearm could cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees. Protecting your own life shouldn't cost you your life savings."
The firm's Web site links to news stories about cases in which gun owners were charged with crimes, under headlines such as "Man arrested in front of his son for 'rudely displaying weapon' " and "Burglar's family awarded $300,000 in wrongful death suit." One of the stories featured is about the legal bills racked up by George Zimmerman, the Florida man acquitted in July in the shooting death of an unarmed teenager.
Cuccinelli and his partners—who include a sitting state senator, a personal injury attorney, and a bowtied whippersnapper from lovely Bumpass, Virginia—are offering a service that effectively works like shooting-people insurance. ("NOT insurance," the VSDL website reads.) For a low monthly fee starting at $8.33, you can keep the firm on retainer to defend you if jackbooted thugs try to trample on your Second Amendment freedoms by holding you accountable for alleged armed criminal or civil misbehavior:
If you have a retainer agreement with Virginia Self Defense Law PLC and you have a self-defense or law enforcement harassment situation, arising out of the use of your firearm, in which you or a family member end up being a named defendant in a Criminal, Civil, or administrative proceeding Virginia Self Defense Law PLC's experienced trial ready attorneys will step in and defend you for no additional legal fees!
If anyone knows a thing about law enforcement harassment, it's Cuccinelli, who once warned Virginia's public universities not to pass ordinances banning discrimination against gay students or employees.
How do you make money doing something so cut-rate? You don't! All the partners are keeping their day jobs, which for Cuccinelli includes "a separate law practice, Cuccinelli and Associates, that will focus on constitutional law, complex civil litigation and health-care fraud," according to the Post. In the meantime, his partners are gladhanding for business at state gun shows, bringing "along 'cardboard Ken,' a cutout, to draw attention."