An Elmo street performer—known for spewing hate speech, shouting anti-Semitic diatribes, and generally terrorizing small children who know that Elmo the kindest of souls—just went about attacking a new group of kids. The detestable street creature, whose name is Dan Sandler, was yanked back into a courtroom for allegedly attempting to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of America.
Evil Elmo Sandler said that he would disseminate false rumors about the Girl Scouts institution—namely that they made arranged sexual meetings between the underage scouts and adult men. In one of dozens of emails to the Scouts, a former employer, he wrote:
“I will show up at Girl Scout functions and other places that parents and kids congregate and hold signs, connecting the Girl Scouts with the Cambodian Rape Camp man.”
The fifty-year-old criminal once temped at the Girl Scouts, in a hiring decision of terrible consequences. Five years ago, Sandler worked as a computer programmer in their West 23rd Street office. Officials with the Girl Scouts are emphasizing that he did not work with children and he was not a direct employee. While there, he allegedly sent a series of unrequited romantic e-mails to his supervisor, including semi-nude photos.
His lawyer is going for the argument that Girl-Scout-Slanderer Sandler is so crazy, it would be impossible for anyone to take his threats or claims seriously.