White guys sexting: It's a documented problem that's on the rise in our thirsty, thirsty society. Fortunately, victims have been equipped with the tools to fight back: The lyrics of Smash Mouth's unforgettable 1999 earworm "All-Star."
That's when the ghost of Smash Mouth singer Steve Harwell (actually still alive) possessed her, and this happened:
It's said that history is written by the winners, and the score here appears to be Smash Mouth: 1, Some Rando: 0. When future civilizations study our failed experiments with cybersex, they'll find this one filed right next to "I put on my robe and wizard hat."