"Who discovered America?" "Obama."

That is an actual exchange from last night's Toddlers & Tiaras. The pageant theme this week was U.S. history, something that the parents, contestants, and pageant coordinator knew virtually nothing about. When asked what the president does, one little girl said, "Every time, if you like, if you give a cat a bath, you're not supposed to. So you have to go tell the judge. Or if you dance on tables, you're gonna have to go to the judge." In her wrong answer, she somehow does get to the bottom of what America is, broadly.

This would be so sad if it weren't hilarious.