Army Workout Clothes Get More Fly--Still Stank, Though

United States Army soldiers care about one thing and one thing only and that is looking good when they are doing their workouts. Wow they have some new workout clothes and I think you are gonna be pleased, with the new clothes!

Here is what you need to know: in the US Army everyone has to wear the same workout clothes, so you know that the soldiers are always saying to themselves "Damn—- those workout clothes had better be fresh to death!!" Sadly as you can see on the TOP RIGHT photo, the old Army workout clothes were yeah, okay, kinda bland, not a lot of flavor, plus why is the logo all reflective? Is this a workout or a crew of highway workers repairing a highway at night in the midst of moving traffic?? You know??? Plus the shorts were so short that they would sometimes show soldiers' balls when they were doing situps (true story).

Now the US Army has new workout clothes, which you can see pictured TOP LEFT, which are pretty sleek and chill—- not too bad at all, except for the tucking-in of the workout t-shirt in dork style, but what can you do? This is the Army not some sort of fashion show or collection of cool people! And that fact can be confirmed by this quote from The Army Times regarding these new workout clothes:

"It just fits better, it looks better," Chandler said. "Lots of folks that we talked to said, 'I would actually wear that downtown or at the mall.'

Our US Army soldiers think that these new workout clothes are "so cool" that they would wear them even to the mall. We will ignore this piece of nerdcoreness because our soldiers have very hard jobs and can't always be expected to take the time to button up pants, just to go out! In any case if you are asking yourself the question, "Besides our soldiers believing that these are good clothes to 'go out' in, are there any other drawbacks to these fresh new workout clothes?" Uhhhh YES.

Despite soldier requests, the uniform does not include anti-microbial properties that would have helped reduce odor.

US Army soldiers lookin good when they work out now—but then walking straight to the mall in the same sweaty ass stank workout clothes. What will become of our single and ready to mingle fighting force when they meet at the mall looking like a bunch of very fit smelly dorks? Well they'll all be the same amount of stank and look the same so I think it won't matter too much :)

[Photos: US Army]