Second Amendment Man Shoots Defenseless Chipotle Restaurant, Goes FreeS

Leave the gun. Take the burrito. No, I said leave the gun, not drop i—oh, Jesus, what did you do?

A Utah man buying lunch at a Chipotle counter Wednesday had a hilariously klutzy moment Wednesday when he hilariously dropped a bag containing his handgun and it hilariously discharged, firing a slug of hot metal that hilariously missed the other humans who had gathered there to eat and not be shot at. Haw haw haw!

Via Utah-4 TV:

Sandy Police say the man removed his backpack to pay for his meal and accidentally dropped it.

When the bag hit the floor, the handgun he had inside accidentally discharged.

A woman who was eating lunch with her family just a few feet away spoke to ABC 4 Utah about what she saw, "We we're all just eating lunch. I was there with my family and suddenly there was a loud bank and everybody stopped and froze because it was obvious that it was louder than a balloon or dishes crashing…A gun went off."

Luckily the bullet hit the floor and lodged into the concrete.

"What's scary about it is the gun hit the floor and went off," said the woman. "But had the gun hit another way could have shot anyone in the restaurant, my family included."

The man with the gun reportedly picked up the backpack and the shell casing, got his lunch and then waited outside for police.

The man holds a concealed weapons permit in Utah, which is easier to get than temple garments—or, evidently, a Chipotle burrito.

The concrete Chipotle floor died just shy of its fifth birthday.

Despite the fact that it's really, really, really hard to get a safe weapon to fire by dropping it, cops say the man will face no charges, because the discharge was "accidental."

That did not please the woman interviewed by Utah 4, but the law is the law, says Sandy, Utah, police Sgt. Jon Arnold. "This wasn't due to him actually handling the gun when it discharged. Those are things... you look at it in terms of criminal negligence, criminal recklessness, in terms of how he was handling the gun," he said.

Arnold added: "He legally has a right to carry his gun that way," which is the most zen thing a cop has ever said, because how the hell is dropping a gun carrying a gun? Meditate on that koan, you godless hippie gun-grabbers.

[Photo credit: AP]