You're looking at the face of a guilty bear. Cute and innocent though it may appear, last night, the villain shown above burglarized a pool deck in Central Florida, in search of the only things thirsty bears ever really want: beer and/or daiquiri mix.
Ultimately, the beast left without taking anything. Earlier this week, the Lake Mary, Fla. home's inhabitants weren't so lucky. On Saturday, someone, something — the same bear? probably the same bear — mad with desire for a cold Coors Banquet, tore into the house's screened-in pool, ransacking the booze fridge and leaving poked-through beers and open bottles of cocktail mixers strewn about the floor.
Tom Carbone, our source, obtained the following photos from Lisa, a friend of his mother's who did not want her last name mentioned or to be interviewed for this post.
Lisa was on the lookout after Saturday's booze-soaked break-in, and had a camera ready when the alcoholic monster returned yesterday. Again, it went straight for the beer-filled mini fridge — Lisa's family doesn't even keep food on the pool deck, she notes — and when it noticed her snapping photos behind a sliding door, it slapped the glass with its paw.
We interviewed Carbone just after a phone conversation with Lisa. Bear sightings are relatively common in Lake Mary, he says she told him, so she wasn't worried at first, but never before had one "banged on the glass, then looked her in the eye, as if to say, 'I'm here, and I'm not leaving.'" With that chilling gesture, it was clear this bear meant business. Beer business. The bear wanted the beer.
She turned off her lights and retreated.
Later, Lisa returned to the porch and found a surprise: nothing was missing. Why didn't the bear take the beer? We may never know.