Gawker: Beer

Bafflingly, Man Chooses Coors Light Over Death

Max Read — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 15:12:19 EST

Fifty-two-year-old Clifton Vial of Nome, Alaska, who does not sound like the sharpest knife in the proverbial psychotic Alaskan woodsman's knife belt, decided to go for a spin in his Toyota Tacoma last week "to see how far a road winding to the north would take him." It took him—and the six-pack of beer he had in the cab—to a snowdrift about 40 miles outside of town, where he became stuck with no supplies. Except for that beer: More »

Obama Grabs a Beer With New Medal of Honor Recipient

Max Read — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:55:30 EDT

You know when you get into an unfamiliar city for some stupid work thing and you're desperately trying to remember who you know who lives there? That apparently happened with 23-year-old Marine veteran Dakota Meyer, whose "stupid work thing" tomorrow is "being awarded the Medal of Honor." So he did what any self-respecting living Medal of Honor recipient would (there have only been two since Vietnam): He called the president. More »

Europeans Love Nonalcoholic Beer

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 13:16:43 EDT

Nonalcoholic beer has long been the beverage of choice for everyone from delusional recovering alcoholics to people too drunk to notice they accidentally bought nonalcoholic beer. Shouldn't you be drinking more nonalcoholic beer, if you know what we mean? More »

Lying Media Wants to Put Germs in Your Baby

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:38:18 EDT

Killer vaccines! Sex-crazed kids! Lower cholesterol! Sickening papayas! Laundry cancer! Healthier milk! Brain scans! Marathon beer! And fatty fat babies who need a little shove in the right direction! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—dishonestly! More »

Mom Leaves Kid Outside a Bar, in the Rain, to Drink Beer

Lauri Apple — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 18:12:40 EDT

A 34-year-old Florida mom has been charged with child neglect after allegedly leaving her five-year-old—who still requires use of a stroller, for some reason?—to wait outside a Daytona Beach bar called Crooks Den "for 20 minutes" while she drank beers inside. More »

Would You Switch to a Weak Beer if It Was Cheap?

Jeff Neumann — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 07:35:00 EDT

The high price of a pint of beer in Britain is a pretty hot issue. Through extensive research, we recently concluded that many Britons were switching to cocaine because it's more affordable. Now, to take advantage of new tax breaks, breweries are developing weaker beers — and taste testers seem to like them! The Independent reports on some promising poll results: More »

Nobody Likes Miller Lite

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 12:10:22 EDT

Bad news, people who go to the store with the express purpose of purchasing Miller Lite™ brand beer: Ad Age reports that Miller Lite is growing steadily less popular. And during the "all-important summer beer-selling season"! More »

This Robot Prefers Tecate to Bud Light

Max Read — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:10:16 EDT

Not all robots are bad! As you can see in the video above, Trossen Robotics' DARwIn-OP has okay taste in beer, even if it can't do anything except kick the can for now. Maybe it will even let you and your fellow humans keep some Tecate in your communal slave refrigerators, after the robot uprising. [via Popular Science] More »

Britons are Drinking Less Beer Because Cocaine Is So Cheap

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 05:29:00 EDT

The Telegraph today reports that beer sales in Britain have dropped 9.8 percent between April and June of this year, and the same time last year. That's the biggest dip in sales in 14 years. So, why are beer sales plummeting? The paper assigns blame to the outrageous taxes imposed on brewers, a 35.4 percent rise in duties since March 2008, but it failed to include another factor — cocaine has never been cheaper! More »

Minnesota Shutdown Blues: No Beer, No Cigarettes, and Poop Everywhere

Jim Newell — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:19:26 EDT

The ongoing Minnesota government shutdown is dragging the state into a new phase of No Fun Whatsoever, due to the shuttered state offices and programs that aren't handling day-to-day matters as usual. Do you Minnesotans like to drink beer or smoke cigarettes or not see poopy everywhere? Then for now, at least, you'll have to pack up your bindles and migrate down Iowa-way. More »

Drunk Americans Display Patriotism by Buying Foreign Beer

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 31 May 2011 11:20:53 EDT

As an American, there is no greater service that you can perform for your country than to drink vast quantities of beer. Not pussy foreign "Heineken" or "Corona" beer, the purchase of which amounts to draining the faltering American economy in order to subsidize enemy (non-US) nations. We're talking about real god damn American beer. Budweiser. Miller. The shit that G.I. Joe would drink. More »

Man Dials 911 for Beer, Friends

Max Read — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:07:38 EDT

We have, in the past, attempted to clear up the apparently common misconception that 911 is for frivolities like nude Facebook photos or business cards. (It is not. It is for emergencies only.) Would that Raymond Roberge had listened! More »

Here Is George Washington's Beer Recipe

Max Read — Wed, 04 May 2011 23:48:00 EDT

Feeling patriotic? Stop drinking that sickening imported swill right now, and brew the most American beer of all time: George Washington's beer, made from a recipe he wrote in his Notebook as a Virginia Colonel. More »

Republican Negotiating Strategy Revealed

Max Read — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 13:16:52 EDT

A congressional staff member sent us this snapshot from outside Rep. Sam Graves' (R - Mo.) office, taken around 10:15 p.m. as Congress wrapped up the final budget compromise. Note that we are not—absolutely not!—implying that Republican staffers were drunk during the up-to-the-wire negotiations! Just reckless and crazy and dangerously ignorant. Okay, and maybe a little drunk. Here's the full-sized photo; we've got an email with with Rep. Graves' office and will let you know if we hear back. (Hey! At least they're recycling, right?) More »

Jason Sudekis Brings Blazing Hot Chicken Wings and Natty Light to His Conan Interview

Whitney Jefferson — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 13:00:00 EST

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Seeing Jason Suedkis on Conan last night felt more like watching fraternity brothers hanging out than a television interview. Not that we're complaining! He brought along some super-spicy Buffalo Wild Wings from Flastbush Avenue, Brooklyn and frat-boy staple Natural Light. More »

David Arquette: 'I Had My First Drink At the Age of Four'

Maureen O'Connor — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 12:07:19 EST

David Arquette gave his first post-rehab interview to Oprah, and it turns out he was a beer-swilling smoking baby. Arquette describes the scene of his intervention ("I go, what up, turkeys?") and says he had his first drink at the age of four, began "seriously drinking" at 12, and stole pot from his father at the age of 8. More »

Russians Finally Admit Beer Is Alcohol

Max Read — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 03:27:00 EST

The Russian government, which has long called beer a "foodstuff," will now classify the beverage as, you know, alcohol, as part of a campaign against alcoholism and underage drinking. People drinking excessively? In Russia!? Believe it or not! "Many ordinary Russians," The Daily Telegraph tells us, "regard beer as a soft drink. It is not uncommon to see men swigging a can of beer on their way to work." Ah, yes, but what they don't tell you is that those men are professional beer-tasters. More »

Schlitz Beer: Wisconsin Protesters' Olive Branch

Jeff Neumann — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 06:45:00 EST

The battle between Wisconsin's unionized workers and GOP union-busters is rolling on. But the heated rhetoric hasn't stopped one age-old tradition among the various protesters: beer drinking. It seems that Schlitz and PBR might be the great equalizer, according to Reuters: More »

Mayor Mike Drinks His Beer on Ice

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 07:34:46 EST

Mayor Bloomberg, visiting the Brooklyn Brewery yesterday said, "I actually put ice in my beer," to the horror of Brooklyn beer snobs. The Post asked the editor of All About Beer magazine, Julie Johnson, how Bloomberg should enjoy his beer: More »

Scientists Brewing 200-Year-Old Shipwreck Beer

Max Read — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:38:00 EST

Being a professional beer-taster probably sounds like a pretty good job, until you are asked to taste samples of 200-year-old beer found in a Baltic Sea shipwreck. The tasters who were asked to do so recently, on behalf of researchers in the Åland Islands (an autonomous region of Finland), said that the beer, found in a shipwreck dating back to the early part of the 19th century, "did taste very old... with some burnt notes," not to mention "quite acidic." More »

Official Beer from the White House Bee Hive

Jim Newell — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 13:46:03 EST

The White House got all pretentious with its beer selection at yesterday's Super Bowl party. This concoction, the "White House Honey Ale," was made with one pound of honey from the White House Bee Hive, and you'll never get to taste it. More »

The Octopus and the Beer Bottle

Marisa Gladstone — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:53:00 EST

This octopus takes some tips from Spongebob Squarepants and makes a beer bottle at the bottom of the sea his home. More »

The Future of Bars: Ordering Your Drinks Using a Touch Screen

Lauren Soroken — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 11:56:00 EST

This touch screen bar being tested in Hong Kong uses tags on the bottom of beer bottles to relay information about the beer, suggests similar beers, and most importantly allows you to order more drinks without a bartender. More »

Meet the Sleaziest Man in the World

Richard Blakeley — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 11:55:00 EST

By now we all know about Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World, but did you know there is also a World's Sleaziest Man as well? What he drinks probably won't surprise you. More »

Bear Adheres to a Strict Two Beer Minimum

Preksha Kumar — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 14:00:00 EST

This video was taken in Bosnia where a restaurant owner lets people buy non-alcoholic beer for the bear. To be fair, we'd also need a drink if we were locked up in a cage like that. More »

Thieves Drive Forklift Through Wall on Quest for Beer

Max Read — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 02:02:41 EST

A dedicated group of thieves drove an unattended forklift through the wall of an Oregon general store while it was closed on Saturday. The only thing they took was beer. There are, frankly, worse ways to spend Christmas. More »

Watch a Machine Fill Cups of Beer From the Bottom

Matt Cherette — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 17:01:35 EST

Uh, holy crap. That's all I have to say about this video, which depicts a concession stand worker using a machine to fill up cups of beer from the bottom. That's right—the beer comes in THROUGH THE BOTTOM. More »

Is Beer the Reason We're Alive Right Now?

Max Read — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 02:59:20 EST

New evidence could strengthen the argument that the Stone Age domestication of cereals—which in turn led to farming and "settled behavior"—was intended for beer, not food. Yes, that's right: Without beer, there might never have been civilization. More »

Mad Hatter Literally Crashes Beer Pong Party

Christopher Han — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 12:14:00 EDT

Don't see the Mad Hatter in the picture yet? You will soon. He's going to have to reimburse his friends $11.50 for red solo cups and beer. Also featured: a poorly-constructed beer pong table. More »

Sullen America Turns to Beer

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 12:26:41 EDT

At least the beer industry is doing well. More »

These Are the Beers That Won't Make You Fat

Brian Moylan — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 13:08:04 EDT

For anyone who wants to have a few drinks without getting too messed up, beer is always a good choice. But the calories! And the beer belly! Fret no more. Here are the healthiest brews. The winner will surprise you. More »

Repeat Drunk Driver Wears Appropriate T-Shirt for Mugshot

Jeff Neumann — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 15:03:12 EDT

A Connecticut man was so drunk the other night that he crashed his truck into someone's house. It was his fourth time being busted for drunk driving. He also wore a t-shirt that says, "I have a drinking problem..." More »

Coming Soon to Space: Space Beer!

Max Read — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 03:58:47 EDT

Sometime in the next decade, you will be able—for a ridiculous amount of money—take tourist flights into space. Sounds great, right? Only one problem: No beer. Luckily, one company is trying to fix that. More »

Selfish Beer Companies Fighting Marijuana Legalization in California

Jim Newell — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 18:00:27 EDT

California's ballot proposition to legalize marijuana has drawn a likely foe: The California Beer & Beverage Distributors. They're spending to oppose the measure and preserve alcohol's monopoly on legal vice. Sigh. It's terrible when mommy and daddy fight like this. More »

Oktoberfest Sneaks Up On the Lederhosened Masses

Jeff Neumann — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 12:56:16 EDT

[Oktoberfest 2010 opened today in Munich, Germany, and it seems that not everyone was prepared. It's the 200th anniversary of the festival. Image via AP] More »

Study: One Third of Young Britons 'Drink to Get Drunk'

Jeff Neumann — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 06:02:20 EDT

A new survey on drinking in Britain has revealed some shocking statistics. Would you believe that one third of Britons under 24 "drink to get drunk"? And nearly one fifth of those polled have had a one-night stand? Unbelievable! More »

The Future of American Food: Deep-Fried Beer

Max Read — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:02:00 EDT

An inventor has come up with a method for deep-frying beer for a competition at—what else?—the Texas state fair. Three cheers for America! So how do you deep-fry beer? Here's the quick-and-dirty recipe: More »

The Drunkest Guys Ever Caught On Video

Eleni Crush — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 16:00:00 EDT

Drinking is great! Drinking is fun! And YouTube is full of dudes just chilling and doing ridiculous things while intoxicated. Still, there's a difference between being drunk and being drunk. Here are ten of the drunkest guys ever videotaped. More »

How Jimmy Carter Saved American Beer

Max Read — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 00:38:23 EDT

Thursday was International Beer Day! Did you raise a glass of beer to former president Jimmy Carter? You should have: Carter's actions as president helped start the brewing renaissance that helps keep your local stocked with delicious craft beers. More »

Study: America's Drinking Rate at Highest Level Since 1985

Jeff Neumann — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 16:23:44 EDT

A new Gallup study on Americans and booze has some interesting facts. Did you know that young American men love beer? And that Americans like alcohol? Or that people on both coasts prefer wine? Stereotypes come true with science! More »