If Wikipedia says it, it must be true: Tim Howard, who stopped approximately 14,000 shots on goal in the U.S. Men's National Team's narrow World Cup loss to Belgium last night, is the USA's acting Secretary of Defense.
Even Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, who normally wags his finger at Wikivandalism, had to acknowledge the artistry in this edit:
I do NOT APPROVE of vandalizing wikipedia for comedic effect. But this is exquisite: http://t.co/ReAWTYyppQ
— Jimmy Wales (@jimmy_wales) July 2, 2014
The entry has since been reverted, because Wikipedia editors are a bunch of no-fun-having pedants, and because America's quadrennial Approximately One Week of Caring About Soccer has come to an end.
SecDef Chuck Hagel (zero World Cup saves in zero appearances, lifetime) was back at work today, praising Japan's new self-defense policy.