"What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?" Yahoo News asked today. Intrigued by this mysterious world without cats (What would we put bread on?) I clicked the link and found myself at Life's Little Mysteries, a LiveScience sister site dedicated to answering search-engine optimized questions of childlike wonderment like "Why are there holes in 'Swiss' cheese?" and "Who Will Succeed Kim Jong-Il?" (Trick question. Can't be answered.)

To assist this incurably inquisitive website, I have compiled a list of its littlest and most mysterious questions, and answered them.

• Q: What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?
  A: "Let's not forget the emotional toll that a mass cat death would take on us humans," writes Natalie Wolchover.
• Q: Could the Internet Ever Be Destroyed?
  A: Only if you keep killing all those cats, Natalie.
• Q: What If You Ate Only One Type of Food?
  A: That depends. Is it cat food?
• Q: Will Eating Pet Food Kill Me?
  A: "There's no official record."
• Q: What Happens If You Eat Dog Food?
  A: "Probably nothing," unless the food is made of cats.
• Q: What If There Were No Gravity?
  A: All the cats would float.
• Q: Why Do Cats Bury Their Poop?
  A: That's not poop. Those are corpses.
• Q: Can Blind People See Anything?
  A: Just the ghosts of cat genocides past, haunting them.
• Q: Why Is Dryer Lint Gray?
  A: Wait, you're telling me Natalie Wolchover put a cat in the dryer?
• Q: If You Spot Bigfoot, Should You Shoot Him?
  A: What are you, some kind of animal-killing maniac?
• Q: Why Do I Think My Phone Is Vibrating When It's Not?
  A: It's your conscience calling, from Cat Hell.
• Q: Why Do Dogs Drool?
  A: "Biomechanics."
• Q: How Safe Are Your Shredded Documents?
  A: As safe as a shredded cat.
• Q: Koalas to Humans: 'We Are Not Bears'
  A: Koalas to Cats: 'I Will Kill You.' Cats to Koalas: 'Bring It. I Know Tae Kwon Do.'
• Q: What If Humans Were Twice as Intelligent?
  A: We would have foreseen the terrible consequences of the Great Cat Holocaust, and would not have killed all those cats.

• [Image via Utekhina Anna/Shutterstock]

  Previously:

  What Time Is the Super Bowl?
  Most Demented Questions from Quora, the Q&A Website