It's always fun to read a personal essay in the Times written by someone who seems to never have read any part of that newspaper. We unearthed this bitter gem (it was hidden in the Sunday paper!) by Abigail A. Frankfurt, who has recently decamped to a $450 apartment somewhere in the Midwest. Abigail gives us to understand that Manhattan has become an untenably expensive place to rent an apartment! And there's more bad news: Brooklyn is pricey too, and—especially in a place called 'Williamsburg'—full of trust-funded hipsters. To top it all off, this 'Williamsburg' place is full of unsuitable romantic prospects: "Each guy I dated was a toymaker. Then there was the fellow who makes his own sneakers—sounds intriguing, yet familiar, no? Oh, right, I remember: seventh-grade girls with glitter and glue sticks beat him to the punch." Oooh, sn... ap? Well, whatever. Abigail, we wish you the best in toymaker-free Duluth.

Escape from New York [NYT]