Bodybuilders are notorious for not being able to agree on a single damn thing—their workouts are right, yours is always wrong—but you'd think they'd be able to reach a consensus on how many days there are in a week, which is 7. But they can't, because math is tough. Let's take it back to the bodybuilding.com forums circa 2008, and watch some of the greatest thinkers of our age work their rhetorical magic.
"If I go every other day I will be at the gym 4-5 times a week, is that over training?" asks one forum member.
"That makes no sense. There are only 7 days in a week. If you go every other day that is 3.5 times a week," answers another, who understands that weeks start on Sunday and end on Saturday. Or start on Monday and end on Sunday. Either way, each one is 7 days.
And here's where the dumb bro-train really comes off its dumb rails. Enter TheJosh, who, no matter how many different ways it's explained to him, cannot grasp that each week has an odd number of days. Specifically, 7.
The best part about Josh is that he's utterly convinced, for an impossibly stupid five pages of bodybuilding forum argument, that he's the lone smart guy arguing with a cavalcade of idiots.
All muscle and no brains? lol.
Later, he even draws a "calander" to prove he didn't double-count Sunday. Which, of course, only proves his own argument wrong.
But in Josh's world—a gym in the fourth dimension, or something—math and calendars actually work very differently than they do in our own:
Today is not an actual day, see? It's all so simple and obvious, morons.
No matter how elementary their explanations became—one guy even wrote out a 4 week workout plan day-by-day to make it easier—Josh wouldn't give in. Eventually, convinced these weight-lifting idiots must be unteachable, he dropped out of the argument for a while.
But that only made things worse.
Although everyone had finally, mercifully, gotten on board with the Gregorian calendar only four centuries after its introduction, there was still dissent in the ranks regarding working out 3.5 times a week. Maybe Josh was right! How do you do a half-workout lol?
After a couple more pages in which people explained the basic concepts of averages and fractions to dudes who go by "bango skank" and "scrawny2studly" (who is college educated too, by the way, and makes a lot of money for a 23 yr old!!) Josh returned, trying to convince everyone he was just trolling.
And then he immediately undermined his point—or proved the perfection of his troll form—by trying to continue the argument.
At this point, the thread was closed and preserved for future generations to gape at in wonder. "How are we alive?" they'll ask. "How did our ancestors feed themselves?" "Is it safe to do a full body workout every other day?"
So many questions left unanswered.