It is completely unthinkable that the gentleman above, a kindly Massachusetts fellow wearing a TEABAG THE RAGS shirt with the New York Rangers logo shaped like a pair of testicles, would ever remove his genitals from his pants and show them to strangers. Especially not mere hours after last Sunday's Bruins-Rangers playoff game.
Boston's MBTA Transit police, however, suspect him of doing just that:
On Sunday, 05/19/13, at approximately 9:50 p.m., the male subject depicted below, exposed himself, while making lewd comments to the passengers onboard a Red Line train between North Quincy MBTA Station and Wollaston MBTA Station.
Just because he's a hockey fan, wearing balls on his shirt, does not, in any way, mean that he would show his penis to other passengers on a Sunday-night train. It just wouldn't happen.
To contact the author of this post, write email@example.com.