Thought Catalog Reaches Breathtaking New Low in Self-Awareness

Me-centric angst dump Thought Catalog is like some superhuman internet time-wasting android, rotely performing ever more jaw-dropping feats of repetitive navel-gazing as we wait nervously for the moment that it will become self-aware and DESTROY US ALL.

Rest easy; self-awareness is not coming any time soon.

"Why We Should Stop Caring So Much About Celebrities," By Ryan O'Connell—title of a real essay on stridently anti-celebrity website Thought Catalog. The intro:

I don't like Kristen Stewart but it's not for the reasons you might expect. Instead of hating on her for her recent infidelity with her Snow White & The Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, or the fact that she always appears bored and stoned in interviews, I don't like her based on the principle that she can't act her way out of a dime bag.

We're already well on our way to not caring about celebrities.

But beyond there being a general lack of salacious celebrity fodder today, I've lost interest in the drama simply because I stopped caring. When I found out that Kristen Stewart had cheated on Robert Pattinson, my knee-jerk response was, "So?" I mean, who gives a crap what Kristen Stewart puts in her mouth, unless it's a joint - in which case, hey girl hey! Being fixated on the lives of people you don't know seems bizarre and immature to me now.

This is a paragraph in an essay about celebrities.

Don't get me wrong, I still have certain celebrities that I will always delight in. Mary-Kate Olsen, Mischa Barton, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrys, Courtney Love, TARYN MANNING, all the Real Housewives: your shenanigans provide me with so much joy. But everyone else? Go do drugs, make out, fall down in public. I don't care.

I don't know how much clearer he can be: He does not care.

Why waste time writing about celebrities when you could be writing about yourself?

[Thought Catalog. Photo: Jamie McCall/ Flickr]