Liberals love Subaru cars. In certain woodsy towns filled with wealthy former hippies, Subarus have long been the default automobile. So why is the company now mocking public transportation, the most hallowed of elite coastal liberal institutions?
Even in today's era of inexpensive and environmentally friendly hybrids, Subaru is still the top automobile brand for lesbians. Subaru sponsored The L Word, that's how liberal/lesbian Subaru is, or was, before it began idiotically attacking the concept of public transportation.
This ad—from Canadian editions of the free public transit newspaper Metro—plays upon the (fictional) simmering rage liberals hold for all things environmental and public, such as public transit. "No weird smells," the ad promises, as if hippies have ever cared about that. "Top safety ratings," Subaru promises, as if plummeting down the street in a metal and plastic death trap was somehow an improvement over the well-known safety of subways and buses—even riding a dingy city bus is 170 times safer than a trip in a private car, according to the National Safety Council. Each percentage rise in use of public transit results in a direct reduction in road fatalities. Public health also improves when people use public transit, because all those people aren't sitting in their Earth-Destroying personal automobiles in drive-thru lines awaiting a sack of anusburgers.
"No overhearing awful music," the ad continues, as if anyone driving a Subaru would know anything about that. But "awful music" here is not so much about "awful" as it is about "the hip hop." Yet liberals love hip hop, especially the "socially conscious" hip hop kids never like.
"Nobody asking you for spare change." God, aren't bums awful? Nobody's going to ask you for money in your Subaru, except for your life partner and your children and the hosts on your local NPR station, forever, because it's a pledge drive again.
Anyway, liberals should be driving hybrids or electric vehicles if they must drive at all. Thanks for reminding us, Subaru!