Carly Fiorina Has Made a Horrible Mistake

Carly Fiorina hasn’t been able to claim very many “wins” in her life. HP was a disaster. Her run for the Senate was a disaster. And most recently, her bid for the presidency was a disaster. But now, Carly Fiorina has made her gravest mistake of all: Accepting a position in which she’s forced to touch Ted Cruz constantly.

No moment illustrates the nightmare in which Fiorina now exists better than this telling power/hand grab after Ted Cruz officially announced her as his running mate. The hard-to-watch hand struggle was first caught by election breakout star Vic Berger:

Though Berger’s clip is repeated a few times for comic effect, the reality of the situation is, somehow, much worse.

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There’s the initial struggle. Carly’s dead eyes. Ted ferociously grasping at her hand like so many cans of Campbell’s Chunky™ soup. Carly’s dead eyes. That final, triumphant clasp. And of course, Carly’s dead eyes.

On the bright side for Carly Fiorina, as least she still has it better than his daughters.