On last night's episode of Oprah Where Are They Now, comedy's red-headed stepchild, the prop-schticked Carrot Top, ran us through his upkeep regime, and in the process asked us to excuse his beauty.

He recalled a Comedy Central Roast in which he was compared to Rocky Dennis (as immortalized in Mask). I remember that and thinking about how hurt he looked at the comparison. It was a mean one, for sure. However in response on last night's show, he said, "I'm sorry that I look good," which is not the right answer, objectively. No one was out to tear Carrot Top down for his exquisite facial smoothing and lifting, which finds his eyebrows scraping his hairline. No one's just jealous.

Furthermore, Carrot Top contends that he thinks he looks no different than he did when he came on the scene, which proves that Carrot Top is not the person to trust about what Carrot Top looks like.

However, if a major goal of plastic surgery is pleasing the person who's getting it, rather than the rest of the world, Carrot Top is doing something right. So yes, Carrot Top, your beauty is excused.