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Researchers at Japan's Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology have invented an intricate butt-scanning system that can tell who is driving a car based on the shape of his or her butt, intrepid future newspaper The Daily reports: More »
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Yep, just another boring old New York City parking job. Every single New Yorker parks like this everyday, blindfolded. No big deal. More »
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After a solid decade in the "luxury cars whose jaw-dropping price tags are a marketing tool rather than an accurate reflection of the cost of the good in question" business, Daimler is putting an end to its Maybach line, due to the fact that it somehow did not make a profit even though you could buy enough Lexuses to form a Voltron-like robot for the price of a single Maybach. Anyhow. On to the real news here: More »
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Nope, it wasn't Santorum. Sticky goo disabled 100 cars on the Pennsylvania Turnpike yesterday, after a tanker spilled a driveway sealant all over the road. If only a camera had been on hand to capture a bunch of cars going slower and sloweerrr until they finally stopped. In the pantheon of highway spills, this ranks right behind chickens. And in the pantheon of goo attacks, it ranks right behind that orange stuff in Alaska. More »
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Notoriously proud to be from da block J. Lo is the new spokesperson for Fiat, and she's been flashing the car every which way recently. But it seems she pulled the hooded sweatshirt over our eyes! More »
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Lecherous bisexuality victim Ashton Kutcher reportedly attempted to win back the affections of his fair maiden Demi Moore by gifting her with a $100,000 Lexus just two days before International Demi Moore's Birthday Day, celebrated the world over on November 11. More »
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Breakups are bad news, as we all know. Who here hasn't spent a week binging on raw cookie dough and episodes of The Good Wife after getting dumped? Or gotten behind the wheel of his cab, naked and drunk, and crashed into 17 cars? More »
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While Australian TV news journalist Alison Ariotti reports from "the frontlines" of Perth or whatever, a black car rams right into the back of a red car and ha, the person who owns the red car will probably be surprised when they watch the news, eh? Focused Alison doesn't let the crash interrupt her reporting in any discernible way—she just keeps on talking about "the impressive crowds" of English people who are doing something somewhere that maybe involves tombstones. "Curiosity made me want to turn around but professionalism told me to just keep talking," she says. [YouTube] More »
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Something is rotten in the state of New York. Specifically, upstate. People in the Buffalo area keep crashing their cars into buildings, and nobody can explain it. More »
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In the latest installment of our Guys Jumping Over Cars series, a Swedish man known as Al the Jumper calmly stands in the middle of a road while a Lamborghini Gallardo traveling at 50 mph speeds his way. Then, effortlessly, he leaps over the car just in time to avoid injuries and/or death. Those are some quick reflexes! In addition to Lamborghinis, Al jumps over other types of cars and also blue squares. [Motorward] More »
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Recently the California Department of Motor Vehicles released a list of 100 vanity plates they rejected as part of their efforts to keep California classy. Not to be outdone, Florida's DMV has released its own list of banned plates—and it's way more scatological and private-partcentric than California's. More »
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How many cars do you usually leap over at one time, when you do that? British long-jumper and Olympic hopeful J.J. Jegede can clear at least three, as he demonstrates in this video shot near the Tower Bridge in London. (A nifty time-lapse picture of Jegede's 20-foot jump lives here.) Jegede's personal best is 8.04 meters—still not enough to qualify for the Olympics, but there's still time. More »
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Check out this Wormrot video. You haven't seen hardcore until you've seen Wormrot, amirite? The most hardcore part of all: they are fully owned subsidiary of the Toyota corporation. More »
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DEADLY DRUG DEATH SHOCKER: As of 2009, more Americans die from prescription drugs than die in cars. Wow. So? More »
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A Phoenix man became trapped inside his SUV on Thursday after he lost control of the vehicle, causing it to roll over and strike a utility pole. In the process, the driver rear-ended another vehicle driven by a man named George Lindell, who later described the events to local Fox affiliate KSAZ-TV in this amazing interview that you must watch immediately. After all, "Reality hits you hard, bro." [MyFoxPhoenix; Thanks to Mike Byhoff for the tip] More »
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Tofu-loving Tennesseean Whitney Calk has teamed up with PETA to protest being denied a vanity license plate that says ILVTOFU (I love tofu) because state bureaucrats misread it as I LV TO FU, which they found offensive, because fucking. Which is odd, since I find tofu more offensive than fucking, but that's beside the point. More »
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Reese Witherspoon is recovering from "minor injuries" after being hit by a car in Santa Monica. The driver was the elephant from Water for Elephants. Kidding! It was an 84-year-old woman who was cited for failure to yield. [KTLA] More »
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Few articles better capture Joe Biden's caricature as a creepy aging swinger uncle from the '80s than The Onion's 2009 "Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway." But has a shirtless Joe Biden ever really washed a 1981 Trans Am in his driveway? No! It was a different muscle car altogether. More »
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Street justice, extraordinary overkill edition: A boy throwing rocks at cars took a crossbow bolt to the belly yesterday, apparently as retribution for throwing a rock at a Toyota RAV4. The RAV4 had several passengers, one of whom literally went medieval on him, pulling out a crossbow and shooting the kid right then and there. Funny, I would have taken Goliath for more of a Chevrolet kind of guy. More »
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Wha—? Maybe—? No, I have no idea, I'm not going to bother trying to evaluate. This surreal video apparently shows a pair of National Guard trucks driving down the street in Manville, NJ, fully submerged in water. At the end of the video, camo-uniformed guardsmen climb out the windows and onto the vehicles' roofs. As the increasingly annoying cameraman wonders, "How is that possible?" More »
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DOs and DON'Ts for when you get a DUI: More »
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A 43-year-old dentist from the Chicago area, William Anthony Howe is recovering in the hospital after he crashed head-on into another car on the interstate last Saturday. Howe was going the wrong way and the two people in the car he crashed into are dead. And it gets worse: A witnesses told the Chicago Tribune that Howe "was rifling around his passenger seat and picked up a handful of cash and threw it out the window." Several cars pulled over to grab the money. Shockingly, Howe was driving a red Porsche. So, why would some dickhead in a Porsche make it rain while driving the wrong way on the interstate? This could have something to do with it: More »
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The Telegraph is reporting that Mr. Bean, officially known as Rowan Atkinson, has crashed his $1 million, very purple, and apparently very fast McLaren F1 sports car in Britain. Thankfully he's okay after suffering a minor shoulder injury, but his car burst into flames after slamming into a tree. But seriously, look at that thing. More »
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Gurbaksh Chahal should be enjoying his life. He's made an estimated $150 million, wrote a bestselling book, lives in an opulent penthouse and was officially declared buff. But on Facebook it's clear the guy is going through hell. It's about his Ferrari, and it's just awful. More »
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Tonight, Stephen Colbert opened the Report with talk of an imminent due date. No, not Tuesday's debt deadline, the one tomorrow night on Facebook for drivers of Nissan's electric car, the Leaf, to submit ideas for an official gesture to "wave" at fellow owners on the road. Which is lame and sad, of course, but nothing compared to the secondhand embarrassment you'll feel after making it to the end of Colbert's segment. More »
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This morning, down in the desert deeps of El Paso, a 5-year-old child was found, at 1 am, behind the wheel of his mother's minivan after driving it into a pole. The boy tried to flee the scene but was caught. His intended destination? Candy. More »
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Last month, performance artist IEPE and an anonymous crew stopped traffic in Berlin's Rosenthaler Platz intersection and dumped 2,000 gallons of water-based, environmentally friendly paint onto the pavement. The intersection was then reopened. What happened? Find out in the video above. [via Architizer] More »
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"People this pathetically insane should not be allowed to drive," writes the Reddit user who took this photo (outside a DMV in Salem, Ore.), but that's just another big-government liberal trying to tell us all what to do. Because, first of all, what's pathetic about covering your ancient camper with extended political screeds? And second of all, what's insane about thinking that Obama is Satan, and also gay? Now, there is a lot to digest here, so take your time, but it's probably best to check out the full-sized photo, which contains appropriately apocalyptic clouds. We're off to find a Bible so we can look up the verse "You will know queer Obama by his fruits." (Is it in Numbers?) [Reddit via Wonkette] More »
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Is the 2011 Tour de France cursed? Just one week after a spectator caused the massive pile-up at the beginning of the granddaddy of all bicycle races, a car covering the race for a French TV station sideswiped Juan Antonio Flecha during today's ninth stage. More »
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Police have released the findings from their investigation into the violent, fiery death by car crash of Jackass star Ryan Dunn and passenger Zachary Hartwell: Dunn, who was driving, had a blood alcohol content was 0.196, more than double Pennsylvania's legal limit of 0.08. His Porsche was traveling between 132 and 140MPH at the time of the crash. [TMZ, image via Getty] More »
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A 7-year-old kid in Michigan stole his stepfather's Pontiac Sunfire and drove more than 20 miles at speeds above 50 miles an hour. When police finally stopped him, he was wearing his pajamas and crying that he wanted to go visit his father. Aw, it's almost cute! More »
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Here's what a Virginia man is alleged in a lawsuit to have been doing when he crashed his car last year on the Beltway last year: More »
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Horrible news for all of you criminals who already have Two Strikes and would really, really prefer not to get a third: the Supreme Court ruled yesterday that fleeing the police in a car is, by definition, a "violent felony." More »
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There are not many situations where you wish a mother would bring her baby into a strip club, but here's one: Police in Louisville, Ky., arrested 43-year-old Laura DiPrimo and 28-year-old Thomas Lee for leaving their infant in their car, outside the strip club, in 91-degree heat. At 11 p.m. Both parents admitted to drinking, and "Lee was wearing an ankle bracelet because he was supposed to be on home incarceration in Clark County, Indiana." [WAVE] More »
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About 10 percent of California's population is registered to carry a disabled parking placard, which enables them to park for free, forever, in designated spots. In a state where driving between rooms in your foreclosed house is standard, these placard thingies have become hot items, as you might imagine! More »
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Obesity is a complicated disease. It can be caused by your mom's pregnancy diet, genetics, your KFC Double Down habit, or some combination of all three. But why has the problem reached such epidemic proportions in the U.S.? Researchers at the University of Illinois think our car culture may be to blame. More »
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The robot cars are here. And they demand to be set free. With you locked inside. More »
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Here's an ad for Canadian car dealership Dale Wurfel, which seems to be trying to sell used cars with a little (unauthorized) help from fashion designer Tom Ford. The tag line: "You know you're not the first. But do you really care?" When you put it like that, no, we don't! More »
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Texas' legislature is moving a bill to increase the speed limit on certain highways and rural roads to 85 miles per hour, the highest in the country. Throw in your "free 10," and you'll be able to drive 95 mph in Texas without much chance of getting pulled over. Maybe even 100, depending on how much speeding ticket revenue is needed to fill local budgetary gaps. You know what? Just floor the goddamn thing and forget the limit altogether. It'll catch up to you in a few more legislatures. More »
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Thanks to a quick-thinking bus driver, this Chinese bus full of passengers manages to stop short after a concrete aqueduct falls on the road, avoiding a crash by mere seconds. More »
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