The sudden new craze called "cat bearding" has made us realize that it's always futile to claim the Internet has hit a new low, because as soon as you make such a pronouncement, something like "cat bearding" comes along to remind you the Internet will always be more pointless and absurd and .... oh but that one cat is kind of cute, and so are some of these people, maybe, although who knows what kind of horror the cat beard is hiding.
So let's hear it for Cat Bearding. All you need is a cat and some kind of drugs to use on the cat, to make it more pliable—don't want to get a nasty scratch from your neighbor's nasty old cat!—and then just sit down and look at porn or your 401k or whatever until the cat comes along to check out that cat food you put on the keyboard. Easy!
Later, you can release the cat. Your neighbor will never know! Who can keep track of cats, anyway? They're always digging in the garbage or eating rats or having diseases or humping in the alley. Cat beards, everybody!